The only reason she allowed him to was because of Thane.
“I don’t want you sleeping in that annex alone tonight. You’ll stay with us,” Robyn had commanded.
“She’s staying here,” Thane replied. “In the guest room. I think the kids will appreciate her being close tonight.”
Robyn couldn’t argue with that. She kissed my good cheek, hugged me tight while I ignored the new aches in my upper back and right side, and took Lachlan’s hand as he led her out.
Once everyone had gone, Thane and I ushered the children upstairs to bed, but Eilidh and Lewis grew subdued again. We took turns tucking them in—me with Eilidh first while Thane was with Lewis, and then we swapped.
“And you’ll be just down the hall?” Lewis asked for the second time as I got up to leave.
Bending over, I kissed his forehead and promised him once more I would be.
Meeting Thane outside their rooms, he shook his head and whispered wearily, “I just lied to my children.”
“They asked who he was?” I guessed, wondering when one or both of them would. To be honest, I thought they’d shown immense restraint to not ask again sooner. They’d asked at the school, but I’d avoided answering in all the chaos.
Thane nodded grimly. “I told them he was just a man who had lost his family and was in pain. That the pain made him confused about who Eilidh was.” He looked away.
I cupped his cheek, bringing his focus back to me. “They don’t need to know anything else.”
“What if they do?”
Knowing what he alluded to, I shook my head. “We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” I pressed onto tiptoes to kiss him lightly and murmured that I needed to retrieve some things from the annex. Five minutes later, I crept upstairs with a small bag of necessities to find him waiting for me.
“I’m going to turn on the alarm.” He brushed his fingers along my stomach as he passed me to go downstairs. I’d never been more grateful for the security system. As it was, I hated I couldn’t sleep in Thane’s arms tonight. I didn’t want to be alone.
But that wasn’t reality, so I entered the guest room at the end of the hall, the easiest room in the house to clean since all it needed was dusting and vacuuming. After brushing my teeth, I changed into my nightie. I was about to turn the bedcovers back when I heard behind me.
“What are you doing?”
The gruff whisper spun me about. Thane scowled at me from the doorway.
“Going to bed,” I whispered.
The man actually rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft.” He crossed the room and took my hand in his, leading me out.
“What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer. He just dragged me into his room and closed the door. Technically, that was his answer.
“What about the kids?”
Thane removed his borrowed shirt. “I’ll wake you before they wake up.” I opened my mouth to argue as he unzipped his suit pants and he cut me off. “Regan, I need you with me tonight. Please, don’t argue.”
“I have my period,” I told him regretfully.
Thane scowled over his shoulder as he pulled the duvet back on the bed. “It’s not about sex. I just need you close.”
And like that, I melted into a metaphorical pile of goo. He needed me. Hiding my giddy grin, I got into his bed and almost sighed with relief at how comfortable his mattress was.
“I’ll be back in a second,” he murmured before disappearing into his bathroom.
Despite the utter shittiness of the day, snuggling up against Thane’s pillow, inhaling his scent from the sheets, was a fantasy come to life. I was in his bed. Invited.
And then my eyes hit the photo of him and his wife on the nightstand.
Every day I passed the photos on his gallery wall downstairs. They didn’t bother me. They were of Thane’s entire family. And I couldn’t erase his past with Francine without erasing Eilidh and Lewis, and the very thought made me breathless. Besides, even though I had issues with his dead wife cheating on him, I wouldn’t want to erase her. Not just for the kids but for her. Eilidh and Lewis were hers. She lived on in them. And they needed to be surrounded by her memory. I wouldn’t want to take that from her or them ever.
But the photo on his nightstand was different. It wasn’t about Eilidh and Lewis. That was for him.
Even after her betrayal, he obviously adored her. So much so, all these years later, she still slept beside him at night.
Jealousy was an ugly, ugly emotion. Even uglier when you were jealous of a dead woman.
Ashamed, I turned around, tucking my good cheek under my hand and closing my eyes against the reminder that, despite Thane’s need for me tonight, he would never love me like that.