“F-f-fuck,” Thane stammered as I came in forceful throbs around him. His grip on my hips turned bruising as he climaxed with a hoarse yell, juddering against my ass even as he collapsed over me. “What the fuck, what the fuck,” he murmured breathlessly against my shoulder.
Blood pounded in my ears as I came down from the release, and I mewled as Thane pulled out. I turned and opened my mouth to speak, but he braced over me and pressed a finger to my lips, his wide eyes on the bedroom door.
My heart stopped as I realized Thane had been loud in climax.
We waited, our ears pricked, trying to hear over our racing pulses.
Finally, his gaze came to mine. “I think we’re fine,” he whispered.
“You were loud,” I admonished, grinning smugly.
Thane grinned back. “Couldn’t be helped. I’ve never felt anything like it when you came.” He fell down beside me on the bed, looking a little dazed as he cuddled me into him.
“I’ve never felt anything like it.” I caressed his damp skin and the happy trail that followed a path to one of my favorite physical attributes of his.
Thane’s hand moved under my arm to cup my breast. “I think you took everything I had.”
I chuckled, settling my chin on his chest. We smiled at each other, giddy with endorphins. “I should clean up,” I whispered.
“And I think I need to tell every man I know to get his partner hooked on romance novels.”
I pushed up and straddled him on my way to crawl across the bed to the bathroom. I paused and leaned down to brush my lips over his. “Most of them would just take advantage of the fact that their partner was turned on … they wouldn’t go out of their way to recreate the fantasy. It was so hot, I’m never, ever going to forget it.”
Something flashed in his eyes, something grim, something I didn’t like, but he hid it as he pulled me deeper into the kiss. At the sudden urge to tell him I loved him, I kissed him harder, drowning the words.
Thane groaned and rolled me onto my back, and we had to be quiet all over again.
25
Regan
The next morning I woke up and Thane was gone, like always.
And like always, I hated it.
Ignoring the now-constant ache in my heart that was only ever lightened when we were together-together, I got ready for the day as usual. Despite news that Sean McClintock had voluntarily checked himself into rehab, Lachlan had two of his security guys shadowing me and the kids wherever we went. Any gossip that might have arisen from Sean yelling about Eilidh being his daughter was cut off when word got out he was an old acquaintance and a grieving father who’d focused on Eilidh because she was close to his daughter’s age.
As for the thirsty moms (who I now felt guilty about calling thirsty moms), we’d come to an understanding. I think I’d gone up in their estimations, and they’d certainly gone up in mine when they’d rushed to my defense. They were now just Michelle, Ava, Laura, and Heather. We’d never be close, but we exchanged hellos and friendly smiles at the gates now. Will joked it was a Christmas miracle.
Robyn’s twenty-ninth birthday on the upcoming eighth gave us another excuse to have everyone over for dinner without alerting the children to the fact that we were still closing ranks. But I knew Arro and Mac were as worried as we all were and wanted to stay close. Much like Lachlan and Thane, Robyn wasn’t really the birthday-celebration type, so we planned to have the family (plus Eredine, who counted as family) over at ours a week from Wednesday.
That night we’d put the kids to bed, and I was snuggled on the couch, pen and notebook in hand, figuring out what of Robyn’s favorite dishes I wanted to cook next week and thus what ingredients I’d need. Thane was a little farther away on the couch than I’d like, but we’d come to a silent agreement not to get too cozy, even when Eilidh and Lewis were abed, in case one of them woke up and came downstairs.
Tapping my pen in thought, I looked up to find him watching me instead of the TV. I couldn’t quite read his expression, but I liked his eyes on me. “Hey,” I said softly with a smile.
His countenance turned from thoughtful to tender. “Hi.”
I wanted to crawl across the couch into his lap, and Thane must’ve been able to read the desire because he murmured a regretful, “I know.”
Then tell everyone, I wanted to say. Screw them. We’re not doing anything wrong. We’re grown adults. Shit happens. Feelings happen.
It seemed so obvious.
That it wasn’t obvious to Thane was a reminder that whatever I was to him, I wasn’t forever. I knew I was more than just sex to him. There was no doubt in my mind, especially after the past week. But it wasn’t love. Clearly.