Four Keeps

“With pleasure.”

As Samuel returns to his position in line with the other men, Blakes starts to step forward, but I speak up. “Wait, I’m not done.” I slide a ring off of my own hand and hold it up for the camera to see. “Xavier, will you accept this ring?”

I finally allow myself to meet Xavier’s eyes; he’s stunned. He remains frozen in place for what feels like forever but is probably only a few seconds, before he strides over to me. “What’s going on?” he asks quietly.

“I can’t. I can’t send you home.”

He hugs me, kisses my cheek, and takes the offered ring, which is a prop extra I was able to find in a backstage area at the mansion.

I stand up straight in my spot, confident about my decision, but aware that there will no doubt be repercussions.

Blake Barrows moves to the center of the area, sounding smooth, as if this had all been planned. “Well, we promised you a dramatic season, didn’t we? Olivia’s journey certainly is full of surprises. Next week, she’ll take the remaining men – all four of them – to her hometown to meet her family. Be sure to join us to find out what happens next.”

“And we’re out.” The broadcast is over and the relative calm and quiet of the live ceremony is instantly replaced with a lot of loud talking and confusion. I stay in position, waiting for the storm to surround me. Natalie is coming toward me, but before she reaches me, Blake comes over.

Blake, who’s never said one word to me off camera, unleashes: “You have a simple job here. Show up. Look pretty. Go on dates and send men home. It’s not brain surgery, yet somehow you fucked it up. Way to go.” He punctuates his words with a sarcastic slow clap.

Before Blake is even done speaking, Samuel and Caleb are in his face, telling him to leave me alone. Meanwhile, James and Xavier surround me, providing a physical buffer of support.

Natalie arrives and tells the men to leave, but they stand their ground. All four men stand by me, so Natalie decides to ignore them as she berates me. “You can’t just go off script and do your own thing, Olivia. It’s a live broadcast on national TV. I need you to follow the rules. The crew needs you to follow the rules. You can’t keep doing things without informing me.”

“I tried to tell you I couldn’t choose. You knew how I felt."

“But you did choose. You gave me a name.”

“That’s because you gave me no choice. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cause trouble, but it’s not just a show and it’s not just entertainment. This is my life.”

Natalie looks like she has more to say, but she just shakes her head.

Caleb puts his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s go outside.” He tilts his head in that direction, seeming to include the other three men in his invitation.

Ever the professional, Natalie signals a camera operator to follow us as we head toward the back patio by the pool.

Even as Caleb has his arm around me, James takes my hand. Another hand rests on my lower back, and Samuel walks ahead, leading us to a large half-circle sofa. I’m surrounded by the four of them, and for a moment, it feels like everything will be okay.

We settle in, Caleb and James sitting on either side of me, Xavier pacing for a moment before finally sitting on the other side of James, and Samuel perching on the edge of the unlit fire pit in front of me. Two camera operators are tracking us, as other crew members rush to arrange portable lighting.

“Are you okay, Olivia?” Caleb asks, searching my face.

James squeezes my hand, his eyes full of concern.

Samuel leans forward to rest his hand on my knee. “I wish we could make things easier for you.”

I surprise myself by managing to laugh. “Why did you all have to be so wonderful? I wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for all of you.”

They smile, and laugh lightly, but the concern doesn’t leave their faces.

Xavier leans around James to look at me. “Everything will work out. I don’t want you to worry.”

James brings my hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “Everything will be okay.”

The expression of care and support pouring from these four men is nearly tangible, and I’ve never been more happy and more miserable at the same time.

33

Follow your heart

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!” I’m pretty sure I squeal as I wrap my best friend in a huge hug.

For Keeps production is now centered at the Four Points Beach Resort, a ritzy, sprawling property located on the other end of the island from my home. It feels good to be back in my hometown, and even better to see Bianca standing at the door of my suite.