It seems like she is saying help me. And that breaks my heart into even more shattered pieces. But it's nothing compared to what happens next, what I know will haunt me for the rest of my life. The tray rattles to the floor, the sound echoing in the room. But the food that was on it splatters everywhere. It stains Marissa's clothes, and some of it lands on the canvas, which is positioned in front of the stairs. What is more, when Marissa lands on the floor, she ends up taking the easel down with her, ripping the canvas as she grips on for something to hold.
What follows is a tension-filled few seconds. Parker is still facing me, and I'm there to see the expression change on his face. One moment, he's focused and deep in thought. Then it's as if his eyes turn black. He turns around slowly, taking in the sight in front of him.
Another painting, ruined. Food everywhere. Marissa on the floor.
All of it combined sets him off, and my heart stops in my chest when he advances toward Marissa, reaching her in a few long steps.
His hands wrap around her throat, and he raises her in the air, his hands choking her. Her eyes connect with mine, the horror the only emotion left in them. I gasp lightly, scrambling to get off the mattress and come help her, but I'm tied up again now, and I can't do anything to stop my crazed stepbrother.
Still clutching her throat, Parker comes for me and kicks me back on the mattress. I take a sharp intake of breath as the force sends me plummeting, the sharp kick to my ribs knocking out all of my fear. Marissa uses the distraction to her benefit and fights out of Parker's arms, running for the stairs. But he's too quick for her, catching her on the second stair and grabbing her like she weighs nothing.
"Parker, please!" she yells out, tears streaming down her face as he drags her downward. "Parker, I love you. Don't hurt me... You know I'd do anything for you! Anything! I'm so sorry!" He positions her in front of the easel and makes her look at the mess in front of her.
"Look at what you did," he says softly, too calm for my liking. "Look at this mess."
"I'm so sorry," she whimpers, stopping the struggle between them. She's compliant, soft, just like he wants her to be. "I'll clean everything up. I'll make it up to you. I love you so much, Parker..."
He looks at her face long and hard. And it makes what happens next that much worse, because I know he took the time to think about what he is going to do. With full force, he smashes Marissa's head against the concrete floor. I hear her scream, and I know I'm screaming, too.
So much noise. So much. It hurts my head. But I still watch. I can't fucking help it. I watch until she goes limp in his arms, her head a gaping hole of blood. He drags her body toward me, dropping her in front of me so her empty eyes stare straight into mine. It's like I'm hypnotized—I can't look away. I look into the gaze of the woman whom he killed, the woman who was a person just a few seconds ago but is now a dead body.
"Look what you made me do," Parker mutters. "You can blame yourself for this, little sis. She came here because of you. And now, she's gone... because of you."
He storms out of the basement, and I'm left stunned and horrified with a corpse staring me accusingly in the eyes. I did this. It's all my fault. At that point, the darkness envelops me, and I welcome it with open arms. I let my eyes close; let the darkness take all the pain away. I don't cry. I just lie back and pretend I'm somewhere far away... I block it all out.
I'm not June anymore.
I'm nothing. No one.
I'm just... gone.
Hours later, Parker drags Marissa's unmoving body up the stairs. But the image of her still open eyes staring at me will stay ingrained in my mind forever. I don't see him for an entire day after, but it doesn't matter to me. Time has stopped because I'm not even in my body anymore. I float in and out of consciousness, thankful every time my eyes close and the darkness mercifully takes over. It's so much easier to block it all out; I'm starting to lose myself. And what scares me more is that it's so fucking easy.
I like being nobody, being a blank canvas. There's not much of June left, and I know in a short while, she will be gone. Finally, I hear Parker coming down the stairs. Half-starved, I crawl toward the staircase. I stop in front of a pair of dark boots and look up pleadingly.