“I couldn’t. Not only was I humiliated about the whole thing but I also knew it would’ve been embarrassing to admit regardless of the response. I was either forgettable or a cheap lay or hell, both. The last thing I wanted was to hear your excuses. The only thing I could do was to retaliate and make your life miserable.”
“Well, I moved to Eldorado for a fresh start and to forget about them. Let’s just say, meeting you at the ranch definitely kept my mind off it.” He smirks.
“How come you never mentioned to anyone you’d been engaged before? No one knew much about you before you moved there.”
“Mostly because I wanted to forget. Talkin’ about it woulda brought up questions I didn't wanna answer, and if I pretended it didn’t affect me, then I could try to move on,” he explains. “After she tracked me down, I realized I couldn't stay in San Antonio anymore. She’d never let me move on, and it’d always be in my face, considering she’s family. So, I found a ranch hand job a few hours away and tried to start over.”
“Well, you found a good place to do that. Long hours working in the heat and other ranch hands to keep ya busy,” I say.
“Agreed. Circle B saved my life. Kept me out of a dark hole, that’s for sure. Perhaps it was destiny to meet again?” He winks.
I release a small laugh. “Yeah, maybe.”
I hate knowing that most of this conversation could’ve been avoided had I been up front with him sooner, but there’s no way I could’ve known. Had Bella not cheated, Grayson would’ve never been out that night, and we would’ve never met in the first place.
“You deserve better than her,” I whisper.
He nods. “I know that now, but it took a helluva lot of work to get there. I never thought I’d meet someone like you the same night I was tryin’ to erase Bella’s existence from my memory. Maybe it was best I didn’t recognize you because, at that time, I wouldn’t have been able to give you what you deserved.”
I pull in a deep breath, and we remain quiet as thoughts drift around.
Eventually, he speaks and disrupts the silence. “I hate how much I hurt you for forgetting. If I’d known you were her, I would’ve said something as soon as I saw you at the ranch. Kenzie, I’d be lyin’ if I said I hadn’t thought about being with you over the years. So to know we were already together but all the important details are missin’ from my memory is fuckin’ torture.”
I hold back a smile as heat rushes through me. As much as I hate to admit it, being with him is a memory I’ve replayed in my head hundreds of times. “I didn’t realize you were going through so much shit and honestly didn’t even take that into account. I thought you were another asshole who was just lookin’ for a piece of ass, and I was the dumbass who fell for your charm. Come to find out, I was the asshole all along.”
“No. You have every right to be upset. I would be too if the roles were reversed and you didn’t know who I was. Just wish you woulda said something sooner. I would’ve fully explained myself and apologized for hurting you. That was never my intention, and though I can’t take it back, I hope you forgive me now that you know everything.” The silence temporarily returns as his words sink in. “But I promise you this, I will never forget the day I met you at the ranch, ever. There was always somethin’ about you I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It all makes sense now, though.”
I meet his kind eyes, and then I gaze down to his kissable lips. He swallows, and I think he might lean in and brush his mouth against mine. A part of me wishes he would. The other part of me knows how bad of an idea it is, considering how vulnerable we are right now.
All of this—the way I feel and what I’ve learned—is so overwhelming, and I know I need some alone time to process all of this. There’s no way I’ll be able to do that with Grayson sitting so close and smelling so good.
After an awkward few seconds pass, I clear my throat. “I really am sorry for not bringin’ it up and just confronting you sooner. I let my pride get in the way and didn’t know how to talk about something so conflicting, but I’m glad everything is aired out now.”
“Me too,” he says, nodding. “Feels good to finally have all the pieces. You don’t know how much it drove me crazy not knowing why you hated me for so long. Honestly, I should’ve put it all together at some point. I knew you went to college in the same town I was from and that there was a chance we could’ve met, but I never assumed you were that girl. I always hated that I couldn't remember your name. Made me feel like a giant dick too.”