"Sam?" I call out, but there's no answer. Just silence. Worry instantly pierces my heart. Sam is always here. Always. Something must've happened.
I leave my bag of leftovers on his makeshift bed, and head back to my house. Whatever happened, I just hope he's alright. He has to be.
Besides my brother, he's the only friend I have.
Chapter 10
Nox
"You have to stop doing this, Sam."
"I know." He groans, picking himself up in the hospital bed. Several tubes are leading out of his veins and his nose, pumping him full of more drugs to help lessen the effect of what he did last night. "Don't tell Dove."
"I won't," I say firmly. Sam doesn't know I haven't spoken to Dove in eight years, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. "But only because it would hurt her to find out what you've been doing to yourself. You have to get a grip, man."
"I know," he repeats weakly, just as a blonde nurse strides into the hospital room he's sharing with four others.
"Mr. Benedetto, your insurance isn't valid," she tells him bluntly. "How are you planning on paying for your treatments?"
"I'll handle it," I mutter, taking the papers from her and signing my name on the dotted line.
"You can't do that, Nox," Sam groans. "It'll be expensive... a nightmare."
"How else are they going to help you?" I hand the papers back to the nurse and she scurries out of the room. "Just let me do this for you, and promise you'll get better."
"I don't know if I can." Sam looks so small and frail in that hospital bed, it even tugs on the strings of my own black heart. "I think it's too late for me. I don't think I'll ever get better."
"You have to try," I insist. "For Dove. For me."
"Why do you care?"
"You're my friend, aren't you?" He nods hesitantly. "There you go. You have two friends now, who both care about you and want to help you get better. Here." I reach inside my coat pocket and pull out the prepaid phone I bought in the gift shop earlier. "I got you a phone. And this power bank. I have one too, we'll exchange them when I come visit you. My number's in there, and Dove's is, too."
"Why are you doing this for me?" Sam stares at me with something akin to anger, which I don't understand. "I told you, it's too fucking late for me. There's no way I can get better. I'm doomed."
"I don't believe that." I truly don't, and I take him by the shoulder as he raises his eyes to mine. "You're a man, Sam. A strong man. You can turn things around, and I believe you will. Just stay strong."
I will never forget walking into that alleyway Sam calls home hours earlier, seeing him crumpled and convulsing on the hard pavement. He'd had a seizure, an after-effect of all the drugs he'd done that day. It was devastating – the only reprieve being that I found him, and not little bird.
A part of me was desperate to protect Dove from the ugly side of her friendship with Sam. In my years on the streets, I'd seen the ugly side of addiction too many times to count, and I'd be damned if I was going to lose another friend to the needle.
"If you want, I can get you a room at the motel where I'm staying," I say.
"No," he shakes his head vehemently. "No, I don't want that."
"You could even stay with me," I offer next. "There's a couch in mine and –"
"No." He stares at me hard. "I don't want your pity."
"Then stop this," I hiss. "Stop ruining your life, because you're also ruining Dove's in the process. You're like a father to her. Do you understand that? It would kill her to lose you."
He nods, staring at his dirty palms as I pace the hospital room. Neither of us says another word until Miss Blondie, the nurse, reappears, and tells us Sam is free to go.
I pay the hospital bill in silence. It's gonna eat away at my savings, but that doesn't matter. Next, I load Sam up on my bike and hand him my helmet. I only have the one.
In silence, I speed off to the alleyway. When we arrive, we find a crumpled note on his messy blanket and the makeshift bed he's made out of newspapers and cardboard.
Where were you, Sam? – Dove
My chest tightens at the sight of her loopy handwriting. She must've come looking for him in the night. I can't imagine how worried she was, seeing him gone from his usual spot.
"Don't tell her," Sam begs me again.
"I won't this time." I put the helmet on my head. "But if this happens again, I'll be forced to."
He nods and silently waves me off as I pull out onto the road. I go to the motel and take a quick shower to wash the hospital smell of antiseptic and sickness off me. As I exit the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, I scroll through my phone. I need to check up on Dove. The fact that I haven't seen her in so long is eating away at me.