I can't think clearly. I take deep breaths of the cool night air, trying to fill my lungs and my head with anything other than panic. But it seems to do the opposite. I gasp for air as I make my way to an alley by Raphael's building. I should keep running. Then again, why? Eventually, he's going to catch up with me and I'll be forced to come back with him, humiliated.
Fuck, I can't believe he did that. I can't believe he asked Elise of all people.
He's a fucking jerk. Not as big of a jerk as Nox, but close fucking enough. And I'm cutting him out of my life. I'm done with abusers treating me like shit.
Tears spring to my eyes and I wipe them off angrily. I don't want to cry right now, I want to be strong. But the memory of Nox, ever-present in my mind, hangs above me like it always does.
It only serves to remind me of everything I've lost already, and my guilty conscience whispers dirty, cruel things to me to make me feel worse.
You already lost Sam and Robin.
You could have at least kept Nox.
You could've been happy.
I shake my head to get the thoughts out.
Nox is a monster, and I need to stay away from him at all cost. All he wants is to destroy me, and I'm not going to let him.
I haven't changed my mind all this time, and I never will.
I take a shaky breath, convincing myself I believe those words even though I know it's all a lie.
Chapter 39
Nox
I drop by Willa’s place first, but she’s nowhere to be seen, and when I question the neighbors, they don’t give up much information. But her place is abandoned – emptied. And my stomach rolls with worry.
I shouldn't have followed Dove tonight. It's given me the perfect opening, and I'm not ready for that yet. But it seems like I'm not getting a choice.
As I watch her rush out of the building, my eyes narrow and I curse the prick who's done this to her. I should've gotten rid of Raphael Santino instead of Robin Canterbury. At least Dove wouldn't have any right to be pissed at me then.
Raphael follows her soon after, and I decide to trail him first. He searches for my little bird, and it takes everything in me not to fucking hurt him when he finally finds her, because the first thing she does is scream.
I don't know what the fuck the piece of shit has done to my woman, but I'm going to make him pay.
Dove resists Raphael and he holds out his hands to show her he's not going to hurt her. I can't see everything from my vantage point, but I can see enough to know I may have to intervene. Even from this distance I can see the vein on Raphael's forehead, pulsating with anger. It reminds me of my father. I know if he strikes, he's going to hit fast and hard. Just like my dad used to.
I can tell they're arguing. Their voices are raised, still not loud enough for me to hear what they're saying, though. I can see his temper getting the best of him.
"Don't do it," I mutter to myself. "Don't you dare fucking try."
But I know he's going to. Some men just can't help themselves. And I know my little bird brings out this in them.
I start walking over there as he starts yelling and hits the wall. I hear him curse, holding his injured hand, but that's nothing compared to the broken nose I'm about to give him.
Dove doesn't see me because her back is turned to me, but her date does.
"Hey man, what the fuck are you –"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence because I've already slammed my fist into his face. The bastard curses out loud and stumbles, but all I'm focused on is Dove. She looks at me, and it takes a split second for the realization to sink in.
"Nox," she whispers. My name on her lips feels like a balm to my wounded soul. I want her to keep saying it, never stop. I'm somehow already turned on, just from standing so close to her, inhaling her rosy scent.
Raphael picks himself up, holding his nose that's spurting blood as he turns his bloodthirsty eyes to me. "Are you fucking insane, you piece of shit?"
"Probably," I mutter. "Now get the fuck away before I rearrange the rest of your face."
"You're a fucking madman." He looks like he's about to swing until Dove steps between us, stopping him from hurting me. "Dove, you can't be serious."
"You've done enough today," she tells him shakily. "I think it's time you went back home, Raphael."
"I'm not leaving you alone with him," her date hisses.
"That's none of your concern," Dove says, her tone softening. "Please, Raphael. Go."