But he doesn't.
Instead, he swallows his pride and never takes his eyes off mine as they rip our hands apart. I know what his silent glare means. He's doing this for me, for us, because he wants us to be together as soon as we can.
As he's led out of the small room, my heart breaks all over again as he’s dragged away. One of the guards kicks him repeatedly.
I close my eyes and give myself a moment to regain my strength. At least I got to see him. At least I got to kiss him. At least I got to be with him...
"Miss, are you coming?"
"Yes," I call out, fighting the fact that I'm on the verge of tears. I pick myself up and dust off the orange shirt I'm wearing, ignoring the gawking looks of the guards and leaving my ripped dress in the room behind me.
I walk past men who whistle and ogle me openly, out into the hot LA sun. I find my car – a Mustang Convertible in cherry red named appropriately as Cherry, because why not – and sit behind the wheel for a long time, collecting my thoughts.
Everything that's happened today in a single hour messes with my head, but I do my best to make sense of it all.
All I know is, I can't stop waiting for Nox. Not now, not ever. Nobody else could ever make me feel the electricity he does, sparking between our fingertips like fireflies. We belong together – I've never been more sure of that. And whether it takes three years or thirty, I'm going to wait for him to come back to me, and spend the rest of my life showing him how much I love him.
Chapter 46
Nox
If I thought it would be easier to move on after Dove now that I've seen her again, gotten my fill, I'd be wrong as fuck.
Her memory is fresh in my mind now, breaking me with every second that passes without her by my side.
But now I have a new mission and a new calling – to get the fuck out of here.
As opposed to the beginning, when I didn't care about ever getting out, I'm now more than eager to work on my case and prove I'm ready to return to society outside of the prison walls.
I meet with all the counselors, do volunteer work and make sure I'm on my best behavior. And by the time my parole comes up, two things shock me like a cold, hard slap to the face.
One – I've been in this hellhole for five years now.
Two – I have a real chance of getting out on parole and reuniting with Dove.
Time passes slowly in prison, but when you're waiting for the results of the jury deciding whether you get to be a free man or not, it's even more excruciating.
But then, five years and six months into my sentence, I get the word – I'm going to be a free man. I'll be on parole, I'll have to return to my job and report to my parole board officer, and I'll be wearing an anklet to ensure I don't leave the state. But nevertheless... I'll be free to be with Dove again. That is, if she's still waiting.
I anticipate the date of my release, but in the end, it ends up shocking me by creeping up on me. I wanted to contact Dove, to tell her, but I never got through when I called. So, I left a voicemail message to an automated machine, not even sure whether I still had the right number. I told her I was being released, and hoped the news wouldn't destroy her.
As I stand in front of my cell that morning, I finally allow the smallest ray of hope to shine through all the shit I put Dove through.
I paid for my crime, but I'm not done. I'm going to make sure Dove is treated like a queen every second of her life. I'm going to fucking worship the ground she walks on. If she's with someone else – even if it's Raphael – I'll keep my distance. I'll go back to the beast in the shadows, the stalker who's watching out for her. But I already know I won't be able to walk away. Not from her. I never could.
"Good luck, Miller," a guard smirks as he opens the cell door. "Welcome to the rest of your life."
His words ring true and hard with me as I walk out of there, a free man, with the ankle bracelet snug around my leg.
There's a long walk to the end of the driveway leading up to the prison, and the sun is beating down hard. I can't see up ahead, so I cover my forehead with my hand and walk into the distance. I have fifty bucks to my name and nowhere to go. But I've been worse off, and I know I'll make it through this.