"Only a little. And only cash. It's not as traceable."
"I'll think about it," I said, shrugging. "It's not like it is anywhere in the near future anyway. I have a lot of saving up to do first."
I thought I caught a look between McCoy and Huck, but it was gone before I got a chance to analyze it.
And then Eddie started engaging me in food talk, and everything else fell away.
McCoy - 4 months
I was building her ShyBelle.
What choice did I have?
The clubhouse was covered in sketches she had in mind for what her salon would look like someday.
She'd always said someday with a sort of resigned longing, like a part of her wasn't sure it was ever really going to happen for her.
"Can you think of any places that would work?" I asked, spreading the sketches out on Teddy's coffee table.
"Depends," Teddy mused, flipping through the papers.
"On?"
"Does she just want to do nails, or would she eventually want to branch out to do brows or waxing?" he asked. "If the latter, she will need at least one back room. Which would change the possibilities since most areas in Miami are too built-up to allow you to build on. So you would have to get it right from the beginning."
"Well, I guess a back room wouldn't hurt. Even if she doesn't use it for that. Can be an office or some shit like that."
"So, before I call my agent, are you sure you want to do this?"
"What do you mean am I sure?"
"You've only been dating, what, five months, give or take."
"I've never dated anyone, Teddy."
"True, but—"
"But nothing," I cut him off. "She's important to me. This is important to her. I am in a position where I can do this for her. So I am going to do it."
"Why?"
"I just told you why. I care about her."
"Care?"
"I love her, Teddy, for fuck's sake."
"There it is," he said, smiling.
"What?"
"You've been dating this woman for five months. You've known it was different from the jump. But it is taking you this long to admit out loud how you feel?"
"Okay, point taken," I admitted, shrugging.
"No, I don't think it was. You need to tell that woman how you feel."
"I'm showing her," I said, waving toward the plans.
"Showing her is nice, McCoy, but it isn't good enough," Teddy insisted.
"What do you know, Teddy?" I asked, lashing out because he was pushing a button no one typically knew existed, and it was more uncomfortable than I could have anticipated. "I've never seen you with a woman for longer than a night either."
To that, Teddy took a slow, measured breath, releasing it as his shoulders slumped. "You don't know what you're talking about, McCoy. I can't blame you because I don't talk about it. But trust me when I say that if you feel something, you need to say something. Women need to hear it. So you need to say it."
"It's not easy—"
"I get that," he cut me off. "Not many of us were raised to be comfortable with feelings. I know your old man was a dick. But that's his shit. You need to own your own shit. Work on it. If not for yourself, then for Shy. If you love her, she deserves the best from you. And being thoughtful is good," he said, waving toward my plans. "But reminding her at every turn how you feel is important too. So get on that. I will get on this," he added, taking a few of the sketches, and walking off toward his room, leaving me to take the rest and head out with his words playing in my head.
He wasn't wrong.
He rarely was, the bastard.
I hadn't been raised to be in touch with my feelings. In fact, emotions were punished in my household. Learning rigid control over them was the only way to survive. After sixteen years of that, it had just become my personality.
After that, the choices I'd made in my professional life only reinforced the ability to put feelings out of things. It was smart. And more so than that, it was comfortable.
But I couldn't live in that bubble. I couldn't expect Shy, who was all about her feelings, not to hear from me how I felt.
"Hey!" Shy greeted me with a big smile, still wrapped in a towel from her shower, her curls a little weighed down with the water. "Is everything..." she started as I stalked toward her, grabbing her, hauling her against my body, and sealing my lips to hers.
I figured the kiss would give me courage.
Then Shy had to go and sway into me, letting out a soft, mewling sound, and all thoughts of words that needed to be said flew out the window as I backed her into the bathroom, and kicking the door closed behind me.