“Okay, literally, what the hell are you doing?” she said. “You don’t have to do the goddamn dare, Jess. Like...I will fight him -”
“No, no, Ashley, it’s okay, just…” I had no doubt she would fight him, but I didn’t need her to defend me like that. “Look, just...enjoy the party, okay? Danielle and Katlynn are here, you could-”
“Woah, woah, hold on,” her frown deepened. “Are you like...are you into this? Because literally nothing is stopping you from just not following him. He can’t force you to do shit but you’re, like…” She wrinkled her nose. “Girl, if this is some weird fantasy thing…” She shook her head. “Look, I knew you were lying when you said you weren’t into him. You made out with him. You were into him, okay? And that’s fine, whatever, no judgement. But just like…” She lowered her voice, as if anyone could even hear us over the party’s noise. “If you’re trying to get with him you have to let me know. Like I think it’s really weird, but...I’m not gonna cock block you.”
My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. I wasn’t “into” in Manson Reed, that was ridiculous, that was...that was…
I sighed heavily. “You don’t have to worry about me, okay? I’m just...I’m gonna try this...dare thing…”
Ashley rolled her eyes, but her laughter took the edge off. “Dare thing? You mean you’re going to try the whole being-his-slave thing? That’s like...super kinky, ya’ know?”
It was, I knew it was. Every interaction I’d had with Manson that night had been so charged with sexual tension it was agonizing. Although, from the outside, the way we interacted with each other showed nothing but hatred. The teasing words, the humiliation, the taunting - it all added to the erotic energy building up inside me. My drive to keep escalating the situation felt desperate, and ridiculous, but I’d been given a taste of something new and I had to explore it.
“Yeah, it’s...it’s weird,” I said. “I know. I can’t...I can’t really explain it.”
Ashley waved her hand, and handed me back the drink I’d earlier left with her. “No worries, girl. I’ll keep an eye out. Text me if you need me, okay?”
She hugged me tight before she walked away. Thank God for Ashley. As opinionated as she was, she kept any judgements she passed to herself. After tonight, maybe we could both have a good laugh about it. Maybe I’d file this away as just another weird experience and move on with my life as if none of it had happened. I’d forget about Manson - forget about his orders, his cocky smile, his boots...I’d go back to just being Jessica Martin, who had her life together, who was popular and normal and not-at-all into weird kinky sex shit.
I slipped back into the other room, but not before Manson noticed my absence. The friends he’d been talking to had moved on, but his eyes were scanning around the room, and locked on me the moment they found me.
“Sorry,” I stepped up beside him, taking a long sip on my drink. “Had to go pee.”
“In the kitchen?” he said dryly. “I think you’re done with that.”
“Um, excuse me?” I glared at him in disbelief as he pulled my drink out of my hands, took a small sip, and tossed it in the trash. “What the fuck, dude? I wasn’t finished-”
“You’re finished because I say you’re finished,” he said softly, leaning nearer to me so I could hear him above the music and loud conversation. “I don’t want you getting drunk, Jess.”
“What the fuck,” I stomped my foot, throwing up my arms. “Are you just trying to ruin the night for me? I can’t wander around, I can’t drink. Are you just trying to be a dick to me?”
“Aww, is poor little Jess bored?” He gave my chin a little bump with his knuckle, and I was tempted to snap my teeth at his hand. “Go get me a beer then.”
“Ugh, fuck you!” I flipped my hair over my shoulder, and stomped my feet heavily as I took two steps back toward the kitchen - before he stopped me.
“Jessica.”
I glared back at him. “What, Manson?”
“Crawl.”
I blinked rapidly. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. What?”
A slow, pleased smile spread across his face. “You heard me just fine, Jess. Crawl. Crawl into the kitchen, get my beer, and crawl back. And remember your goddamn manners.”
He couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t think I would actually...actually crawl… in front of all these people...he couldn’t. His words from earlier echoed in my head, I know you need some discipline in your life. You’ll earn it soon enough.
If I disobeyed, would I earn that discipline he mentioned?
He leaned against the wall behind him, calm, straight-faced. “I’m waiting, Jess. I’m awfully thirsty.”
I marched back at him and jabbed my finger against his chest - his hard, surprisingly muscular chest. “You are crazy if you think I’m gonna crawl through this goddamn party to get you a goddamn beer, in front of all these goddamn people-”
He caught my wrist, stopping my angry jabbing. “Now, now, Jessica. You’re making a scene. You’re making even more people watch you. You’re making it that much worse for when you do, eventually, obey.”
“I’m not going to obey you, asshole-”
“Then why are you still here? I thought you could handle it?” His grip on my wrist was loose, gentle enough that I could have easily pulled away from him. I could feel the calluses on his palms, the roughness on his fingers. I could even smell him: he was sweet, like a cigar, mingled with a masculine cologne that was fresh but musky.
I was fixated on that smell. It was filling my head, intoxicating me. It made me want to get closer to him, it made me want to press my face against his chest and inhale deeply, completely envelop myself in him. But I couldn’t give away how intrigued I was. I couldn’t seem too eager. Just like I couldn’t obey without putting up a fuss.
“I can handle it just fine,” I muttered.
“Oh, is that so?” he said, his eyes narrowing. He was still so calm. His voice hadn’t gone up in volume; he hadn’t even changed his position from casually leaning against the wall. “I can’t force you to do anything, Jess. You can easily walk away, especially since you seem to be so angry about these orders. But...you’re not walking away. You’re standing here, arguing with me. Throwing a tantrum. Trying to make me change my mind and take back my order. But I’m not taking it back. You’re going to do it, Jess. You’re going to obey, because you want to, no matter how much you try to hide it. Go - crawl and get my beer.”
I grit my teeth, my hands balled into fists at my sides. Something squirmed inside me, a frightening and unexpected thing: it was that tight, tingling pleasure, the joy of being put in my place, the excitement of finding all my struggling to be absolutely useless.
I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to walk away. I felt as if I was trying to work up the courage to pierce my own ears: I knew I wanted it. I knew it was going to hurt. I just had to do it, just stab the needle through.
I’d obey. Of course I’d obey.