The worst part was, he wasn’t sure which option he would prefer. He had wanted Tethru dead. For that brief moment, he had hated that disgusting man. But did being threatened with rape justify taking someone’s life? He didn’t know.
His stomach was churning. He felt dirty. He was dirty.
There was the sound of footsteps, and then his Master crouched before him. “Get up,” he said, laying his hands on Eridan’s shoulders. “You need to leave. Now.”
Eridan bit his lip hard, knowing what that meant.
Tethru was dead.
He had killed him. He had killed a person.
“Eridan, move.”
Eridan didn’t move. “It was self-defense,” he whispered hoarsely, squeezing his eyes shut. “It was self-defense, Master.”
He felt more than heard Castien sigh. “I know,” he said. “Look at me.”
Eridan opened his eyes. He found Castien’s gaze on his neck. Right. There were probably bruises on it.
“It wouldn’t matter to the Chapter that it was self-defense,” Castien said, finally tearing his eyes from the hickeys. “You still killed the Grandmaster. You need to leave now.”
“But what about… What about the guards? They know I was here with him. And there are probably security cameras that—”
“I will take care of it,” Castien said curtly, pulling him to his feet. “Go home. Take a hot shower. Use a dermal regenerator on your neck. And get some sleep.”
Eridan nodded mechanically, a part of him relieved to have simple instructions that he could follow. He could do as his Master said. He could. Everything would be all right. It would be all right.
“Eridan,” Castien said, his voice harder. “Snap out of it.”
He just looked at his Master, feeling lost.
Some emotion flickered across Castien’s face. He sighed and pulled Eridan against his chest.
Eridan froze for a moment before tucking his head under Castien’s chin and melting into him. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, allowing his Master’s familiar scent to fill his senses, feeling so very safe in his arms. He never wanted to leave them.
But all too soon, Castien pushed him away. “Go home,” he said, turning toward the… the body. “Now, Eridan.”
Eridan went.
Chapter Ten: Safe Place
Eridan woke up with a gasp, his heart still pounding, panic, anger, and disgust making his chest tight.
He pressed his trembling fingers to his eyes and breathed, in and out. Everything was all right. He was all right. Tethru hadn’t done anything really bad. Nothing bad had happened.
Except he had killed a person.
A vile, perverted person, Eridan reminded himself. It didn’t help much. He could still hear Tethru gasping for breath, radiating fear and then panic—until there was nothing. A life, gone. Just like that.
He was a murderer.
Eridan ran into the adjoining bathroom and vomited as soon as he reached the toilet. Sighing, he rinsed out his mouth with water.
He lifted his head and stared at his reflection. His wide, violet eyes were the only color on his pale face. Even the ugly marks on his neck were now gone, as if nothing had happened.
“He was a rapist,” Eridan said. “And a pedophile. He fucking deserved it.”
He felt a little bit better after saying it, but the sick feeling in his stomach was still there. He wanted to be told he had done nothing wrong. He wanted to be told everything would be all right.
He wanted his Master.
Sighing, Eridan focused on the bond. Castien was back: he could feel him in the house, but his mind felt distant, like it usually was when he was asleep.
Of course he was asleep. Judging by the brightening sky, it was nearly dawn already, and Castien must have been tired after spending all night cleaning up after him.
Eridan still wanted him. Wanted him close.
Hating himself a little for being such a baby, Eridan left his bedroom, his footsteps quiet as he moved through the large house. He followed the bond until it brought him to his Master’s bedroom.
Eridan stared at the door for a while before pushing it open.
It opened noiselessly.
His Master was sleeping on his back. His face was a little softer in his sleep, but not by much, a frown permanently etched between his brows. Castien was wearing his night clothes, but his dark shirt wasn’t fastened, revealing to Eridan’s gaze his broad, muscular chest and hard abdominal muscles.
Eridan wet his dry lips, his childish need for comfort shifting into a different kind of need, base and wanton.
“I climbed into my Master’s bed naked and put his cock into my mouth while he slept.” Kyran’s words sounded in his ears again, terribly tempting.
No, it was insane. Utterly insane.
He shouldn’t even be considering it.
Consent issues aside, his Master would almost certainly be furious if Eridan did that after Castien explicitly told him that anything between them would be “idiotic.”
But fuck, just thinking about it… Of pulling his Master’s cock out… licking it and taking it into his mouth while Castien was none the wiser… sucking him off until his Master was hard and leaking… Just thinking about it made Eridan’s lower body ache with want, his cock hardening and his hole getting slicker.