Just a Bit Unhealthy (Straight Guys 3)

She would have liked to know other things, too.

Claire doesn’t know why you left.

Wasn’t she supposed to be the closest person to Gabriel? Why did he keep secrets from her? Why was he so distant?

Claire tried to remember when everything had gone wrong, but she couldn’t. They had been happy once. It all seemed to have happened in another life. They had met at a party more than two years ago. For her it had been a love at first sight. She was charmed by his unconventional attractiveness, his fame, his bright green eyes. When he spent the entire evening with her, she couldn’t believe her luck: he was a rising football star, and she was a young model no one knew about. But he seemed smitten, unable to take his eyes off her. They spent that night together, but he seemed to want more than that. He asked her for a date. And then another, and then another.

For a while, she had been beyond happy, but as their relationship progressed and Gabriel’s infatuation seemed to gradually fade, she became scared. She became scared that Gabriel would grow tired of her now that the honeymoon period was over. Did he love her enough to stay with her? He was young and famous and could have any woman he wanted. That was when her friends advised her to get pregnant and tie Gabriel down once and for all. She had listened to their advice. Had it been the right thing to do?

Claire pressed her hand to her belly. It had to be.

Beside her, Gabriel stirred. Claire put the phone on the couch quickly.

“Claire?” he muttered sleepily. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Why aren’t you?”

Gabriel yawned. “Couldn’t sleep, so I took a walk. Didn’t want to wake you up. Why are you up? Is it the baby?”

“No,” Claire said, putting both hands on her belly. The proof of their love. “It isn’t the baby.”

Gabriel yawned again. “Then what?”

Claire chewed on her lip. “Why did Jared leave?”

She couldn’t read his expression in the moonlight, but his silence was very telling.

“Why does it matter?” Gabriel said at last, a strange sort of tension in his voice.

“I’m just curious.” Would he lie? Would he tell the truth? What was the truth?

“I told you—he got homesick.”

“Stop lying,” she said.

Another long, heavy silence.

“It’s personal,” Gabriel said tersely. “It’s between me and Jared.”

She clenched her hands into fists. “I’m the mother of your child. It doesn’t get more personal than that.”

“It’s different.”

“How?” It was a struggle to keep her voice calm. “Or is there ‘personal’ for Jared and ‘personal’ for the rest of us unimportant people?”

“Don’t be ridiculous—”

“I’m sick and tired of always coming third,” Claire whispered. “When Jared left, I thought things would be finally different, but you’re too busy moping and pining for him to pay me much attention. We’re having a baby in less than two months, Gabe. A baby!” Her voice cracked. “Don’t you care?”

He sat up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pressing his nose against her cheek. “Don’t be silly,” Gabriel said urgently. “Of course I care. I’m very excited about having a kid. I’ve always wanted a family, you know that. It’s always been my dream.”

Claire inhaled shakily. “I know. But sometimes I think…Sometimes I think it was just a childish dream. A pretty future, nothing real. Like…like a beautiful trophy you take out of the case on special occasions to admire, not something you want to use every day.”

“Come on, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?” Claire smiled humorlessly. “You know what I’m afraid of? That when the baby is born, it’ll be an afterthought for you, too. Something that’ll always come after Jared and football—”

“Jared left,” Gabriel bit off, removing his hand and pulling away. “He’s not coming back.”

A laugh broke from her throat. “Tell that to yourself. You seem to be the one unable to accept it and move on.”

Gabriel said nothing. Claire wished she could see his face, although a part of her was almost glad she couldn’t.

“I’ve never asked,” she whispered, looking at her hands. “I never wanted to be the sort of girlfriend who asks her boyfriend to ditch his friends for her. But maybe I should have. Because your relationship with him is…was…too much. Too disturbing. Too intimate.” She chuckled. “You know, sometimes I felt like he was your boyfriend, and I was your friend with benefits.”

“You know I don’t swing that way,” Gabriel said tiredly.

“That’s the only reason I’ve never asked you to end your relationship with him.” Claire bit the inside of her cheek. The truth was, she hadn’t thought she stood a chance of succeeding.

“Where are you going with this?” Gabriel said. “What is the point? Jared left. You can be happy.”

Claire slumped back against the couch. “How can I be happy when you’re depressed?”