He lay still, panting, disoriented and freaked out.
What the fuck was that?
Chapter 18: Blurred
By the time Jared left his room and made his way to the kitchen next morning, Gabriel was already there, making breakfast for them.
“Good morning,” Jared said.
“Morning,” Gabriel muttered without turning around. It was a day off for both of them—the next Premier League match was a few days away—but Gabriel seemed to be in a hurry, completely engrossed in making omelets for them.
Or pretending to be engrossed.
Jared sat at the table and eyed Gabriel’s back. He’d thought he was the one who was supposed to feel awkward, not Gabriel.
“Breakfast!” Gabriel announced, a little too loudly, putting Jared’s plate in front of him before sitting down as well.
Okay.
They ate in silence. Gabriel kept his eyes on his plate. Either Gabriel’s face was flushed from the stove heat or he was blushing.
At last, Jared put his fork down. “All right—”
The doorbell rang.
“It must be Claire,” Gabriel said, relief plain in his voice. The chair fell over as he jumped to his feet.
“Claire?”
“You forgot? She’s bringing Jules today.” Gabriel righted the chair before running out of the kitchen.
He had really forgotten. Gabriel was supposed to have his son over every two weeks: that was the agreement he and Claire had reached.
Jared remained seated. He wasn’t really eager to see Claire, to put it lightly.
You know he can never love you the way he loves me. You will never be enough for him. Don’t you see you’re coercing him into something he doesn’t want?
Jared gripped his mug and gulped his coffee down. It was hot and burned his throat, but he could barely feel it.
There’s nothing more pathetic than a gay man pining for a straight, taken guy.
The baby’s loud wailing made him flinch.
“Jared!” Gabriel ran into the kitchen, carrying the crying baby in his arms. He looked on the verge of panic.
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s crying!”
Jared laughed. “He’s a baby. Babies cry.”
“He doesn’t like me!” Gabriel said over the baby’s wailing. “I’m sure he doesn’t even recognize me. He doesn’t know I’m his dad.”
“He definitely has your lungs,” Jared said dryly.
Gabriel glared, but his lips twitched up. Then he glanced back at the baby. “How do we make him stop crying?”
“Do I look like I’m a baby expert?” But Jared stood and walked closer.
“You’re a doctor.”
“Of adults.”
“Still. You know everything.”
“I’m really flattered you think so, but…” Jared frowned, eyeing the red-faced baby. “I think you’re holding him wrong. You’re squeezing him too hard. Loosen your grip—”
“Then you take him.” Gabriel shoved the baby into Jared’s arms.
“Careful,” Jared said, pulling the child closer to his chest. “He’s not a football.” He looked down at the baby. “Right, Jules? Tell your dad you aren’t a ball.”
The baby blinked and stopped crying. Jared had to admit he was rather adorable when he wasn’t crying—he really looked a lot like Gabe.
“Hey there,” Jared murmured, touching the tiny hand. The baby grasped the finger and studied the man attached to it. Jared smiled.
The sudden silence made Jared look up.
Gabriel was staring at them with an odd expression on his face.
“What?” Jared said.
Gabriel fished his phone out of his pocket and took a picture.
“Nothing,” he said, looking at the picture.
* * *
That night, after Jared had slipped into his bed, Gabriel came to his room. He stood in the doorway in an oversized white t-shirt and said, “Can I come in?”
Jared frowned. This day was getting more and more bizarre. Since when did Gabe ask for his permission to come into his room?
“Sure,” he said, wishing he could see Gabriel’s face.
Gabriel climbed into the bed but didn’t snuggle up to him, as he normally would.
A pang of worry went through Jared. What the fuck was going on?
“Tired?” Gabriel murmured.
“A little,” Jared said. Claire had come for Jules only an hour ago.
“Me, too.” Gabriel yawned. “Babies are a lot more exhausting than I thought.”
“Why are you tired?” Jared said with a smile. “I did all the work.”
Gabriel slapped him on the chest. “I helped. It’s not my fault he liked you better.”
“Maybe because I held him like a baby, not a ball.”
“Hey, there was nothing wrong about my holding him. He just liked you better.” Gabriel added quietly, “You liked him, too.”
“I did,” Jared said, once again wishing he could see Gabriel’s face. His voice sounded a little weird. Hell, Gabe had been acting weird all day. The baby’s presence had seemed to dissolve some of the awkwardness, but it never disappeared completely. Jared hadn’t pushed him, figuring Gabriel would just need a few hours to get over the awkwardness caused by yesterday’s incident. Except he clearly hadn’t gotten over it. Gabriel had been strange around his son, too: Sometimes he looked ridiculously happy when he stared at Jared and Jules, and sometimes it almost seemed as though he disliked Jules.