Just a Bit Shameless (Straight Guys 8)

“Don’t do this,” Dominic said.

“Do what?”

“Don’t lie,” Dominic said quietly. “It’s not you. You say what you think. It’s rare. Don’t let it change.”

Sam scoffed. “Isn’t lying our job?”

Dominic let out a laugh at his own words thrown back at him. “Don’t let the job change you. You should never let your missions affect you off-mission. If you do, you won’t last long with MI6.”

Sam lifted his gaze to Dominic. “Just like that? It’s so easy for you? Keeping your work separate from your life?”

“Of course it isn’t,” Dominic said, his expression grim. “But you must learn to compartmentalize. Think of yourself as an actor who takes off his stage makeup after a performance. Similarly, everything that happens during a mission isn’t real. It’s a performance.”

Nice.

Sam laughed. “You don’t have to tell me this, you know. I get it: I must get over my silly crush and stop being stupid. I get it, okay?” He forced himself to meet Dominic’s eyes unflinchingly. Dominic wanted honesty, didn’t he? He could be brutally honest. “I know you don’t really care about me. I’m not actually an idiot.”

Dominic pressed his lips together, a pinched expression appearing on his face. His jaw working, he looked away before saying stiffly, “That wasn’t what I meant. I’m not a fucking robot, either, you know. I don’t—I do care about you. I told you: your little crush doesn’t bother me at all. I wasn’t even thinking about it when I said that. I just wanted you to be honest with me. If you’re angry, say that you’re angry. I don’t like your lying to me.”

The tight knot in Sam’s stomach loosened a little. “Are you going to be honest back?”

Dominic laughed, as if Sam had said something funny, and looked at him. “I already am. You think I’m so candid with everyone?”

Sam frowned. Now that he thought about it, he remembered people back at MI6 gossiping about how standoffish and closed off Agent 11 was. Despite working for MI6 for a decade, Agent 11 was still a mystery to most of his co-workers.

“You aren’t?” Sam said softly.

Dominic shook his head with a wry smile. “Now, tell me what got you upset. I’m not a mind reader.”

“Um.” Sam studied his nails with more interest than they warranted. “I guess I just feel disposable. Replaced by someone else.”

He could feel Dominic’s gaze on him. “Are you jealous?”

Flushing, Sam grimaced. “No,” he grumbled unconvincingly.

Shit, this was mortifying.

“Sammy,” Dominic said with a sigh. “My next mission will be completely different from this one.”

There was something about Dominic’s tone that made Sam look at him.

Dominic pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not exactly looking forward to my next mission, either, you know. An heir to a crime empire or not, the bloke I’m supposed to use is a person, too. It’s possible he isn’t even aware of his father’s criminal activities.”

“Then why seduce him at all?”

Dominic made a face. “Because his father is one paranoid son of a bitch. He makes Brylsko look gullible and trusting. It’s impossible to get close to him, because he literally doesn’t trust anyone. His son is the only weak spot he has. He doesn’t seem to have much affection for his son, but it looks like he does want to leave everything to his own flesh and blood, so he must start trusting his son at some point soon. And I have to become the person his son trusts. It’s the only way we can get someone inside.”

Sam frowned. “Why is MI6 involved, though? Domestic intelligence is MI5’s job.”

Dominic shrugged a little. “It’s a joint operation with MI5. The mark has connections to a South American human trafficking ring and Russian mafia.”

Sam looked at the clouds outside the window. Although rationally he understood that Dominic’s mission was important, he felt sick at the thought that Dominic was going to romance and seduce another bloke—smile at him, kiss him and touch him, have sex with him.

But it wasn’t like his opinion mattered. He was just a gay kid with a dumb crush on a straight man.

“Okay,” he said tonelessly. He turned the music on, and closed his eyes.

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have, because the next thing he knew, they were touching down and he was blinking blearily as Dominic unbuckled his seatbelt. He felt disoriented.

“Come on,” Dominic said, steering him out of the plane by a hand placed on Sam’s lower back.

Sam leaned into the touch before jerking away, like a rag doll pulled in two different directions.

“Sammy?” Dominic said.

Stop calling me Sammy, Sam almost snapped but didn’t. He had no room to talk after all—he had trouble thinking of Dominic as Agent 11 too.

“Let’s get our luggage and find a cab,” Sam said, looking straight ahead.

The cab ride to headquarters was silent.