Just a Bit Wicked (Straight Guys 7)

“Please don’t,” Vlad said. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Sebastian didn’t seem fazed. His gaze grew heavy-lidded as he leaned back against the pillows and murmured, looking at Vlad, “I must be under the Imperius curse, because I’d love to do anything for you.”

“That was terrible,” Vlad said, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“Was it? I’ve got a different one.” Sebastian’s dark eyes lingered on Vlad’s arms. “I can be your house elf,” he said. “I’ll do whatever you need, and I don’t need any clothes, Master.”

“You’re hilarious,” Vlad ground out. “Not.”

As though not having heard him, Sebastian let his gaze travel down Vlad’s chest to his crotch clad in black boxers. “I’d even let your basilisk into my chamber of secrets,” he said, licking his lips obscenely and smirking. “Is that your wand or are you just happy to see me?”

Vlad wanted to strangle him. “You’re a child. An overgrown, ridiculous child.”

“That’s a bit disturbing, mate,” Sebastian said. “I hope you don’t get a boner around actual children.”

“It’s called morning wood,” Vlad gritted out, feeling his neck heat up. He stood tall, refusing to cover his dick, because it was just morning wood. It had nothing to do with the half-naked man sprawled on the bed and his stupid innuendos. Vlad tried to imagine the most disgusting things he could and finally felt his cock soften.

Sebastian yawned, raking his hand through his bed-hair. “Whatever you say, big guy. It’s not like you ever had a boner around me before.” He blinked, all doe-eyed and innocent. “Oh, wait.”

Vlad’s fists clenched. “Yesterday was a fluke. I’m not a—”

“Homo,” Sebastian finished amiably. “I know, I know. You’re a very straight man who just happens to sometimes put his body parts in my mouth.” He nodded so solemnly it was nearly impossible to tell that he was taking the piss. “I don’t blame you. I’ve been told I have a very attractive mouth. Its prettiness must have confused your poor little brain and tricked you into thinking it was a woman’s. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.”

Vlad snorted. “Sarcasm is a sign of insecurity. Also, your mouth isn’t all that pretty. It’s too wide and weird. Reminds me of a frog’s.”

He suppressed a smile when Sebastian’s expression turned outraged.

“Come here,” Sebastian said, sitting up.

Vlad looked at him warily. “What for?”

“Come here,” Sebastian repeated. “Unless you’re afraid?” He raised a haughty eyebrow, looking annoyingly superior and mocking.

Vlad heaved a sigh and stepped closer. “Now what?” he said, looking contemptuously at all the pale skin and dark locks. The guy reminded him of Snow White—if Show White were six feet tall and male.

“I dare you kiss me,” Sebastian said.

Vlad tensed. “No thanks.”

Sebastian smiled serenely. “Why not? Are you afraid to kiss my weird frog-like lips?”

Vlad couldn’t remember the last time he’d had to consciously restrain himself from shutting someone up. God, he wanted to fuck that little shit up, but he had a feeling that touching Sebastian would be...unadvisable.

“Well?” Sebastian said, looking at him challengingly.

“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” Vlad said.

Sebastian snorted. “I knew he’d say that, Hermione,” he told the cat.

The stupid cat meowed, as though agreeing.

Vlad gritted his teeth. His arm shot out, grabbed a fistful of dark hair and yanked the other man up. Sebastian grunted in pain, looking at him wide-eyed. Once again, the confident, sassy facade faded away, revealing something that seemed an awful lot like fear.

It made Vlad pause, but his grip on Sebastian’s hair didn’t loosen. “Cut the crap,” he said quietly, looking Sebastian in the eye. His free hand twitched with the need to touch that flawless skin, to bruise it. He balled it into a fist by his side. “You really don’t want to provoke me,” he said testily. “You wouldn’t like what I’d do to your pretty skin, Snow White.”

Sebastian’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’m not afraid of you,” he said. “I won’t let you bully me.” He lowered his dark eyelashes. “Fine, don’t kiss me. I knew you were a coward. All bullies are. Men like you always resort to physical intimidation when they feel wrong-footed and stupid.”

Vlad sighed irritably. “Fine.” He leaned in and stopped, looking at Sebastian’s lips. They looked very red and very soft. No way the guy wasn’t using something for his lips. No fucking way.

The lips smirked.

“Are you chickening out?” Sebastian said.

“What are you, twelve? No, I’m not chickening out.” He took a deep breath and pressed his lips against the other man’s. He pulled back quickly. “Happy now?” he said. “This does nothing for me.”

Sebastian raised his brows. “You call that a kiss? No wonder your girlfriend cheated on you.”

“Weak,” Vlad said, letting go of Sebastian’s hair and stepping away. “Now stop fucking provoking me. It isn’t going to work. If you’re that desperate for a fuck, stick to gay men. I’m sure you wouldn’t be as repulsive to them as you are to me.”