“Your second half wants to talk to you.”
Ryan forced his eyes open and fixed them on Tristan blearily. “Jamie’s here? Now?”
Tristan raised his eyebrows, an amused expression appearing on his face. “It must be tough to be his girlfriend, Hannah.”
Hannah laughed, coming out of the bathroom. She was already dressed, her makeup immaculate. “I’m used to their very manly platonic love,” she said. “I would have been extremely jealous if I wasn’t sure Ryan would puke if someone forced him to touch James that way. I think their bromance is cute.”
Stretching, Ryan sat up. “We’re not cute,” he grumbled, trying to shake the sleep off. “Men are not cute. And unless you want to get an eyeful, get out of my room, Tristan.”
Tristan gave Ryan’s bare chest a scrutinizing look. “You’re really very hot.”
Ryan stared at him. “Thanks?”
“You’re welcome,” Tristan said, as if he was talking about the weather. “I’ll have you know I have extremely high standards. If Zach wasn’t Zach, I’d shag you.”
Ryan snorted a laugh. “If I were even a little into blokes, I’d shag you, too. You’re far prettier than Hannah.”
“Hey!” Hannah said, laughing.
“What? It’s true,” Ryan said.
Hannah looked at Tristan and grinned. “Okay, there’s no shame in being less pretty than Tristan.”
Tristan gave them a pinched look. “Stop. Just stop.”
“Don’t pretend to be offended,” Ryan said, smirking. “I’ve heard Zach call you dollface many times, which is way worse.”
The look Tristan gave him was very sweet and very poisonous. “You’re not Zach. Only he can get away with calling me ridiculous things. Now get your behind out of bed and don’t make your precious Jamie wait.”
“Just send him upstairs,” Ryan said, letting the sheets fall to his feet as he climbed out of the bed.
“Hey!” Tristan said, flushing and turning away.
“I did warn you.” Ryan gave Hannah a goodbye kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.
A quick shower later, he wrapped a towel around his hips and emerged out of the bathroom.
Hannah and Tristan were gone. Jamie stood by the window, looking at the backyard.
Ryan came to a halt, frowning as he took in the tense set of Jamie’s shoulders. “Jamie?”
His friend turned around and the expression on his face did nothing to alleviate Ryan’s alarm. “We need to talk.”
Ryan let out a laugh. “Are you breaking up with me?”
Jamie didn’t smile. If anything, the bleak look in his eyes only worsened. “I…” he said before averting his gaze. “Please get dressed first.”
Frowning deeper, Ryan quickly put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. What was Jamie even doing here at this hour? Ryan might have the day off, but Jamie definitely didn’t.
“Well?” he said when he was fully clothed.
“I’ve been lying to you about something,” Jamie said.
Ryan let out a harsh laugh. “You do know that this isn’t any better than ‘we need to talk,’ right?”
A weak smile curled Jamie’s lips for a moment. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
“For lying?” Ryan said.
“For lying and for what I’m about to tell you.”
Ryan shoved his clenched fists into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Apologizing before telling me what you’re apologizing for is just cheap. Just spill it.”
Jamie caught his bottom lip between his teeth. “I…”
“Just spill it, Jamie,” Ryan said testily, fear settling low in his gut. “Are you ill? Is it something serious?”
Jamie blinked. “What? No!”
Ryan breathed out. “Then what is it, you wanker? You fucking scared me.”
Jamie returned to worrying his lip.
“You know I love you,” he said awkwardly.
Ryan sighed. “I love you, too, mate. So what is it?”
His lips pursing, Jamie looked away before looking Ryan dead in the eye. “No, I love you.”
Ryan’s guts shriveled into a hard knot.
Jamie couldn’t possibly mean…that.
But the longer he stared at Jamie, who looked very pale and very brave, any remaining hope that Jamie meant something else disappeared.
His jaw working, Ryan turned his face away, trying to gather his chaotic thoughts into some semblance of order. The last thing Jamie needed right now was to see how much his words had freaked him out. Though, if he were honest with himself, there was a part of him that wasn’t all that surprised. After that night several weeks ago, after the sheer neediness in Jamie’s kisses, after Jamie’s dejected words afterward, the thought had crossed Ryan’s mind once or twice. He had discarded it as ridiculous at the time.
It still seemed ridiculous. Jamie was Jamie, for fuck’s sake. His best mate. Someone he always considered a little brother who needed his protection. Jamie wasn’t supposed to want that from him.
“Say something,” Jamie said, his voice rough.
Ryan forced himself to look at him. “For fuck’s sake, stop looking at me like I’m about to kick you out.”
His harsh tone did nothing to erase the fear and misery from Jamie’s face. The aquamarine eyes widened. Jamie took a step back.
“Sorry,” Ryan said, his tone softer, raking a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m not angry—not at you.” He was angry with the entire situation. And he was angry with himself. How could he have been so blind? Now that he knew, looking back, he could see the little inconsistencies in Jamie’s behavior.