Just a Bit Confusing (Straight Guys 5)

Ryan schooled his face into a neutral expression, fighting the heat that rushed to his face. His family was well aware that he considered Jamie a brother—in the past, Ryan hadn’t bothered to hide his annoyance whenever his brothers ribbed him about the nature of their relationship. He wondered what they would think if they found out about his recent proclivity for putting his dick in Jamie’s mouth.

“Jamie can take care of himself,” Ryan said, watching Lambert lean in and say something into Jamie’s ear, a sly smile on his face. “But that tosser should stay away from him. He had his chance, and he blew it.”

“Maybe James decided to give him a second chance,” Zach said, but he sounded distracted, his eyes fixed on Tristan, who was smirking at his adoptive brother across the room. “He’s at it again,” he muttered, shaking his head, before stalking off toward Tristan.

Ryan watched Zach grab his boyfriend and give him a stern look. Tristan just smirked wider, looking very pleased with himself. Zach narrowed his eyes and told him something, which made Tristan blush. Tristan licked his lips and nodded with a surprisingly shy smile, and the look in Zach’s eyes could be described as somewhere between hungry and besotted as he gazed at his brat of a boyfriend.

Ryan shifted his gaze back to Jamie and Lambert and felt his jaw clench. The leer on Lambert’s face was nauseating. Jamie…Jamie was more difficult to read. He was smiling and looking interested in whatever Lambert was saying, but Ryan still had trouble believing Zach’s suggestion that Jamie might have decided to give that tosser a second chance. Jamie didn’t love Lambert. Jamie was in love with him. Regardless of how Ryan felt about it, that was something he had come to accept. Except…except Jamie had been genuinely upset after his breakup with Lambert. And Lambert had been his first. A man never forgot his first.

Pressing his lips together, Ryan told himself Jamie hated being coddled. Not to mention that any attempt to interfere would look like jealousy. It was more than enough that he kept screwing with his friend’s mind because he couldn’t keep his dick out of his mouth; he didn’t want to give Jamie the wrong impression and mess with his head any further. Ryan wasn’t jealous, of course. If it had been some other guy—a decent guy—Ryan would only be glad that Jamie was interested in someone who could return his feelings. He would be glad. Probably.

Ryan almost laughed. Shit, who was he kidding? He was no longer sure of anything where Jamie was concerned. His possessiveness had been worse since he had started putting his dick in his best friend’s mouth—he sometimes caught himself thinking of Jamie’s mouth as his property, which was…fucking insane.

Grimacing, Ryan shook his head. He couldn’t allow himself to begin thinking that way. These proprietary thoughts were ridiculous. What he and Jamie had wasn’t normal or healthy for either of them. If Jamie found someone he genuinely liked, someone who could give him a normal relationship, good for him.

But no matter what he told himself, he couldn’t just stand aside and watch that train wreck. That git didn’t deserve Jamie and would end up hurting him—again.

Ryan found himself moving toward the pair.

“Hey,” Ryan said, placing a hand on Jamie’s neck and fixing Lambert with a steady look. “I don’t remember inviting you. What was your name again?”

Jamie elbowed him not-so-discreetly.

Lambert plastered a smile on his face. “It’s Lambert. Paul Lambert. Good to see you again. When Luke—”

“Excuse us, Lambert,” Ryan said, steering Jamie away.

“What the hell was that?” Jamie said as soon as they were out of Lambert’s earshot.

“Shouldn’t I be asking that?” Ryan said, dragging him upstairs where it was quieter. He ushered Jamie into his bedroom, shut the door, took Jamie’s shoulders, and peered into his eyes. “What do you think you’re doing? Lambert was a total dick to you when you broke up.”

Averting his gaze, Jamie shrugged.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to prove something?”

Jamie didn’t answer.

“James.”

Jamie flinched and gave him a startled look. “You never call me James.”

“Maybe I finally decided to listen to you and call you what everyone else does.”

The expression on Jamie’s face was rather priceless.

Ryan smiled. “Don’t tell me you actually love being Jamie just for me.” He was teasing.

Except instead of laughing, Jamie blushed.

Their eyes locked and Ryan felt his smile fade. Maybe it was ridiculous considering everything that had happened between them, but this was the first time he truly realized that Jamie was in love with him—that Jamie got butterflies in his stomach when Ryan smiled at him, that he might like to be called by mushy pet names and endearments.

“You’re blushing,” Ryan said, brushing his knuckles over Jamie’s cheek lightly. Jamie shivered a little, his lips parting. Ryan’s gaze dropped to them and he cringed inwardly, trying to ignore the familiar stirring of arousal. It’d been two days since their conversation…since the last time. Jamie had called him a pervert. Jamie was right, because even now, with his family and friends just a few steps away outside the door, he wanted to push the guy he always considered a baby brother to his knees and shove his dick into Jamie’s mouth, even though a part of him felt it was wrong, sick and fucked up.