From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
Maybe I took advantage of him.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Le sigh. Here we go.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
I’m serious, Luke. Of course I know I didn’t force him into anything physically—I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried—but I know Ryan. I know what makes him tick. I know he has a thing for taking care of me, for making me happy—he always has, and I might have used it against him.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
He could have made you happy without putting his dick in your bum. Ryan is a big boy and he should be fucking held responsible for his own actions.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
But that’s the thing. When we fucked, he didn’t even participate. He sort of…just sat there, letting me use his dick like a sex toy. Luke, I’ve seen him fuck. And what happened the other night…that wasn’t how he fucks. Normally he’s pretty aggressive during sex.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
He was hard. He didn’t lose his erection. He came. In my book, that means he participated in the sex.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
Then why hasn’t he called me in three days?
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Has it never occurred to you that he might be having a gay freak-out? I’ve heard that happens to straight guys. Maybe he’s been trying to convince himself fucking his male best friend doesn’t make him gay.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
Ryan isn’t homophobic in the slightest. If he felt he might be gay, that wouldn’t freak him out. Trust me, I know him.
No, I’m sure it’s something else.
Actually, fucking me doesn’t make him gay. When you’re that turned on, any hole will do. I would probably fuck a woman if I were that turned on.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Whatever.
How are things with your parents, by the way?
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
As expected, all things considered. Strained. Mum has been weird. I guess Dad had told her what a disappointment I am. She hasn’t said anything aloud, but I think it’s just because she doesn’t want to agree with Dad on anything. But you know, many things are starting to make sense now. Mum has always despised football, especially Chelsea. She knew. She knew about Tristan and said nothing to me. For some reason, that’s harder to swallow than Dad’s silence.
Dad is still pissed off that I’m refusing to marry Megan Cadogan. I should probably be more upset about disappointing him, but it’s hard to give a damn after what happened with Ryan. Is it very pathetic that I’m such a mess after three days of not talking to him?
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Very.
My advice: go get laid, mate. Let someone bugger you for a change. Preferably someone who doesn’t have brotherly feelings for you and wouldn’t have an existential crisis after the sex.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
I can’t.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Actually, you can. I’m the one who is in a homophobic country right now. I might actually get beaten (or worse) if I make a move on the wrong person.
But fine, if you want to be fucked just by your asshole of a best friend/pseudo-brother, it’s your heart to break.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
He’s not an asshole.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
He sure is. Just not to you. He’s a decent bloke, but he can be one hell of a bastard if he wants to. Trust me, I’m the expert on dickheads here.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
If you were an expert on dickheads, you wouldn’t have so many breakups with them. Having a hard-on for bad boys doesn’t make you an expert on them.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Don’t mock me. You’ll see! One day one of the bad guys will turn out to have a heart of gold behind that tough, bad exterior and I will get my happily ever after.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
Do you really believe in that? In happily ever afters? Aww, you’re such a girl, Lucy.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Shut it. I’m not the one who’s been pining after one guy since I was eight. At least I’m looking for my Prince Charming (and getting frogs so far, but that’s neither here nor there). You aren’t even looking.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
I looked. You know I looked.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Yes, yes. But he’s always been your Prince Charming. I know.
From: James Grayson
To: Luke Whitford
Dec 28
The problem is, I’m no Cinderella in his story.
From: Luke Whitford
To: James Grayson
Dec 28
Yes, you’re no Cinderella. Right now you’re the stable boy he gets his rocks off with and it doesn’t have to mean anything. Rather convenient for him, isn’t it? Call him and tell him to stop fucking with you: either he wants you, or he doesn’t. No more no-strings-attached cocksucking or buggering. Don’t let his prick anywhere near you until he gives you a definite answer. Got it?