Just a Bit Gay (Straight Guys 9)

And it had freaked him out.

Nick didn’t want Tyler. He had never wanted Tyler. He’d always resented the idea that gay men couldn’t be good mates with straight guys without secretly lusting after them. Maybe avoiding Tyler wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, but he didn’t have a better one. He wanted to sort out his head, and he couldn’t do it if he kept sticking his cock into Tyler every day.

Goddammit, he didn’t want to fuck up their friendship. He had been so reluctant to agree to Tyler’s insane idea for a reason: too many things could go wrong if people introduced sex into their friendship. He still hadn’t expected that he would be the problem: he’d thought Tyler would be the one to freak out on him. It seemed almost amusing now.

Zach heaved a sigh. “Fine. Don’t talk. But I’m warning you that if you don’t tell me what got you brooding, Tristan will get it out of you anyway, and he will be a lot more annoying about it than me.” He sounded exasperated but endlessly affectionate. Loving.

Nick couldn’t deny that a part of him was jealous. Not because of Tristan—he was well over his crush on Zach’s husband—but of what they had. Nick wanted that, wanted to meet a guy who’d make him sound so ridiculously in love when he talked about him. He was twenty-five. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he wanted something stable. The Hardaway men generally didn’t do casual. They all were about partners and family. The older Nick got, the truer for him it was. He did want a relationship. He just didn’t seem to be able to commit to any of his flings. His friendship with Tyler had pretty much been the only constant in his life for years, and he would be damned if he lost it because of his prick.

“I think I may have fucked up our friendship,” Nick said with a sigh.

“In what way?” Zach said, his gaze on the FIFA game.

Nick made a face, wondering how he was supposed to explain the situation without making it sound insane. Not to mention that he didn’t exactly want to tell Zach about Tyler’s sexual preferences. He might mock Tyler for his totally straight desire to be fucked, but he felt too protective of him to tell anyone about it.

“I just…I looked at him and had some thoughts I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to have about my best mate.”

Zach’s gaze flicked to him, his brows drawing together. “He’s…fit,” he said. “Isn’t it natural to be a little attracted to a fit bloke if you’re gay?”

Nick almost laughed. It was kind of hilarious that Zach was married to a man but had no experience of being attracted to other men. Zach had been straight as an arrow until he met Tristan.

“Are you attracted to every beautiful woman?” Nick said, very dryly.

“Okay, you have a point,” Zach said.

“Besides, Tyler isn’t even my type,” Nick said. He shot Tristan a leering look, just to piss Zach off. “Tristan is.”

Zach snorted, looking unbothered, the fucker. “So what about Tyler? Are you into him now?”

“No,” Nick said quickly. “I’m pretty sure it was just a one-off.”

“Then what’s the problem? Why are you avoiding him?”

Nick pulled a face. While he was pretty sure his thoughts had just been muddled by the sex and he would feel nothing for Tyler but friendly affection when he wasn’t balls deep in him, there was still the underlying fear that it wasn’t a one-off. Goddammit, he didn’t want to want Tyler. Having a thing for one’s straight best mate was a recipe for disaster. It had nearly ruined Ryan and James’s life-long friendship. Sure, they were together now, but their relationship had been one hell of a clusterfuck at the time. Back then, his brother had told Nick that James’s unrequited feelings for him were the worst thing that could have happened to them. Only their freaky codependency had stopped them from never seeing each other again.

Tyler and Nick were definitely not codependent, so any awkward one-sided attraction would eventually end their friendship. He didn’t want that. While hypothetically he could function perfectly without Tyler, Nick was still fond as fuck of that idiot and didn’t want to lose him. They’d been friends forever.

“I just need to deal with this shit before seeing Ty again,” Nick said.

“And how are planning to deal with it?”

Nick smiled grimly. First things first: he had to put an end to their fuck-buddying. No fucking, no problem. The only problem with that plan was that he wasn’t optimistic about his chances against Tyler’s blue, puppy-dog eyes and sad pout. So he needed a reason—a good one—to stop what they’d been doing.

“I’ll get a boyfriend,” Nick said.

Chapter 8

“He got sick of me.”

“I think you’ve had enough, mate,” the barmaid said.