Just a Bit Gay (Straight Guys 9)

“Of course you aren’t,” she said. “Call me when you learn how to be a responsible adult.” And she hung up.

Tyler stared at his phone numbly before a laugh tore out of his throat.

He laughed, and laughed, until something in his chest hurt.

“Tyler?”

He looked up, and there stood Nick in his dark leather jacket, a cigarette in his hand.

Tyler didn’t know what was written on his face, but Nick frowned and strode over. “Hey,” he said, laying a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Tyler tried to smile, but he suspected he failed. He must look truly pathetic, because Nick’s frown deepened. “Ty?”

And fuck it, maybe he was weak, maybe he wasn’t manly, but all he wanted at that moment was to be in Nick’s arms. He all but fell against Nick, burying his face in his neck and drinking in his familiar scent like a drowning man would breathe air.

After a moment, Nick’s arms came up around him and squeezed him tightly. “What’s wrong, Ty?” he said. When Tyler didn’t say anything, his voice softened. “Sweetheart, talk to me. Come on, love.”

Tyler shivered, squirming closer to him. It was the first time Nick had used endearments outside of sex. This time Nick sounded as if he actually meant them.

“Mum thought I was joking,” Tyler said with a laugh. His eyes were stinging, so he pressed them against Nick’s shoulder. “Fucking joking.”

“About what?” Nick said, running his fingers through Tyler’s hair.

“I told her that I was bi, and she told me to grow up.”

He felt Nick go rigid against him. “You told her you are bi?”

Tyler nodded.

Nick’s fingers resumed stroking his hair, his other arm tightening around Tyler. “You were very brave,” he said. “You did well, love.”

Tyler’s insides warmed at the praise and the endearment, but he shook his head. “It was a waste of time,” he mumbled. “She didn’t even take me seriously. They never do.”

“Because they’re close-minded, overbearing assholes,” Nick said, his tone harsh.

Tyler hesitated, torn between his loyalty to his parents and the urge to agree with Nick. “They love me.”

“Maybe they do.” There was something dark and sharp about Nick’s voice, as if he was saying something that he’d been repressing for a long time. “But it doesn’t change the fact that they want to control your life. They tell you to grow up, but at the same time they don’t want to let you make your own decisions.”

Tyler opened his mouth and then closed it.

“You’re almost twenty-five, Ty,” Nick said, his voice softening. “Not a little boy. They don’t need to approve your life choices anymore. They raised you, and they’re your parents, but you are a grown person, and an amazing one. You don’t need to ‘grow up.’ You don’t have to make them happy. If they don’t appreciate you the way you are, if they don’t see what a good son you are, it’s their loss, not yours. You just need to see yourself as the adult you are.”

“You really think I’m amazing?” Tyler muttered into Nick’s shoulder.

Nick pulled back a little and, tilting Tyler’s chin up, forced him to look him in the eye. “I wouldn’t stick around such a ridiculous peacock for so long if I didn’t know that under all that macho bullshit, you’re an amazing person. Anyone who thinks otherwise just doesn’t know you.”

Tyler stared at Nick, filled with a tidal wave of pure adoration. Surging forward, he kissed Nick clumsily on the mouth—or tried to.

Nick took his shoulders and pushed him away. “Look, you’re confused now, and I don’t think it’s a good idea—”

“You just said that I shouldn’t be afraid to make my own decisions,” Tyler said, trying to convince himself that Nick wasn’t rejecting him. He was only partly successful. The insecure voice at the back of his mind kept whispering that Nick would never be into a loser like him.

“Yes, but I think you need to figure yourself out first,” Nick said firmly, his face closing off again.

And suddenly, Tyler was angry, at himself more than anyone else. Why did he turn into such an insecure ninny where Nick was concerned? He was hot! He had an amazing body, a more than average cock, and pretty blue eyes. Women were crazy about him. There was no reason Nick couldn’t like him. In fact, just yesterday Tyler had made Nick forget all about Brad—who was Nick’s type—so why was he being such an insecure twat now?

“You’re right,” Tyler said, pulling back and trying not to show how much he already missed the heat of Nick’s body. He dropped his gaze and looked at Nick from under his eyelashes. “I should probably experiment a little, figure out what I like, what kind of guys I’m into…”

Nick took out another cigarette and lit it, his face like stone. To Tyler’s disappointment, Nick didn’t look jealous, even though there was some strange tension about him.