He blinked the wetness away from his eyes, hoping it wasn’t obvious that he’d been this close to crying. “Hey. Were you looking for me?” he said, pretty proud that his voice sounded normal enough. “Did Caldwell already tell you that I’d be running the company? You’re probably going to be my assistant.”
Nate snorted softly, walking to a urinal. “I know about the decision Caldwell made, but I’m not going to be your PA. I wish, but my dick of a boss would never let his favorite whipping boy walk free. I’m not the CEO’s assistant. I’m his. He’s taking me with him back to the Caldwell Group.”
Andrew averted his gaze when Nate unzipped his pants. “How did you know about the decision, then? The meeting ended just ten minutes ago.”
Nate made an amused sound. “The meeting with Rutledge didn’t actually decide anything. Caldwell’s boyfriend had already talked him into leaving the Rutledges alone.”
Miles?
Andrew frowned. “What? But… How do you even know so much about it?” It wasn’t exactly public knowledge that Caldwell had wanted revenge on the Rutledges.
Nate zipped up. “Caldwell is friends with my boss. I heard them discuss it yesterday.”
Yesterday?
Andrew scowled. Why had Caldwell even forced Derek and him to go through the excruciating ordeal of apologizing for Derek’s actions if he’d already made the decision?
As if reading his thoughts, Nate chuckled. “Caldwell might have already made the decision, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t still want to make Rutledge grovel. He’s an asshole, though not as big of an asshole as my asshole of a boss. Mine is Satan personified.”
Andrew shot him a curious glance. “Why don’t you quit if Ferrara is that bad?”
Nate’s face did something strange. He shrugged and went to the sink to wash his hands. “So, why were you crying?”
The sudden change of subject caught Andrew off guard. “I wasn’t,” he said after a moment, painfully aware of how unconvincing it must have sounded.
Nate gave him a long look. “You can talk to me, you know. I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”
Andrew’s first urge was to say that he was fine and change the subject.
But then he hesitated.
Why not, really? Nate wasn’t even going to work in their company anymore. He wasn’t going to be Andrew’s subordinate. And he seemed like a good guy, his face open and his blue eyes kind. Andrew couldn’t deny that he wanted a fresh perspective, wanted to talk to someone—anyone. He felt like he’d explode if he didn’t talk about this to someone. His therapist didn’t count, and all of his friends had been Vivian’s.
“Have you ever been with a man?” He flushed as soon as he blurted it out.
Nate blinked, his golden eyebrows slightly raised. “I’m straight,” he said. “The closest I’ve been to another guy’s cock was when my demon of a boss made me put a condom on his.”
Andrew stared at him. And then stared some more. “Eh, what?”
Nate laughed. It wasn’t a very amused sound. “I know, right? My boss is a fucking psycho. I swear he lives to torture me. Not only do I have to buy condoms for him—among a million other tasks—but he also literally made me put a condom on his cock before he fucked some leggy blonde with a fake tan and fake boobs.” He scowled. “He’s—” He cut himself off and shook his head. Then he looked at Andrew curiously. “So, what’s with the sudden interest? What does it have to do with your crying?”
“I wasn’t crying,” Andrew said.
Nate’s silence said it all.
Running a hand over his face, Andrew sighed. He looked around the room before returning his gaze to Nate. “You know I was stuck on the island with another man, right?”
Nate’s forehead wrinkled. “Everyone knows that— Wait. Are you saying you and Logan McCall…?”
Andrew face felt very warm. He was already starting to regret speaking of this, but he couldn’t backtrack now. “Yeah,” he said, uncomfortably. “It was just a stress thing.”
Nate nodded, his expression understanding. “You were lonely.”
“Yeah.” Andrew looked down at his hands. They were pale again, he noted dispassionately. His tan was long gone. “Lonely, desperate, and scared. And he was the only thing that kept me semi-sane. He was—he was my everything back then. But it was supposed to go away once we…”
“Ah.”
They were silent for a while.
Andrew couldn’t look at the other guy as he confessed roughly, “I was supposed to—was supposed to stop needing him. My life is good now. I’m okay. I shouldn’t still need him.”
“Why not?” Nate said quietly. “Because it’s gay?”
“It’s not… It’s not really that. I used to think that way, but not anymore. I can’t feel that way for real, not about him.”
“Why not?” Nate sounded puzzled. “What’s wrong with needing the person you’re in love with?”
Andrew opened his mouth. No sound came out of it.