Just a Bit Dirty (Straight Guys 10)

Fuck, he needed to get a grip. This was hopeless. Pointless. This wasn’t some kind of gay Cinderella story. This wasn’t going anywhere. Ian Caldwell was his boss. He had hired Miles to care for his little son, not to pine for him during his working hours.

Caring for said son wasn’t actually easy that morning. Liam was unusually bad-tempered, throwing temper tantrums for no reason and not listening to a word Miles said. He still talked, but he was far less talkative than the previous day, mostly using monosyllabic answers whenever Miles attempted to engage the boy in conversation.

Thankfully, Liam was in a much better mood after his afternoon nap. The little monster from the morning was gone, replaced by the quiet, affectionate boy Miles had come to adore. He would never understand kids, Miles concluded, shaking his head in bemusement but immensely relieved.

Encouraged by Liam’s good mood, he finally decided to broach the subject Ian had talked to him about last evening before… before they got distracted.

Miles cleared his throat and focused his gaze on Liam.

“Your dad loves you very much,” he started in his calmest voice. “You love your dad too, right?”

The little boy’s lips pursed, his blue eyes still on the LEGO pieces in his hands. He said nothing and continued constructing a house, but Miles got the impression that he was listening.

“Your dad is a good man.”

“Bad,” Liam mumbled, shaking his small head.

Miles frowned. “You’re wrong, Liam. Your dad isn’t bad.”

“Bad,” Liam said stubbornly.

“Why do you think he’s bad? It’s not true, kiddo. He loves you very much.”

Liam’s brows furrowed. He shook his head again, his blue eyes filling with tears. “Da bad! Hurt mama. Mama cry!”

Miles’s stomach dropped. So Ian was right after all: the boy’s memories were all mixed up and he had really mistaken his father for someone who’d hurt his mother.

Or maybe Ian lied, a voice said at the back of his mind. With his sexual inclinations, wouldn’t it be believable that he would hit a woman who cheated on him?

Miles dismissed the thought as soon as it appeared. Ian wasn’t the type to physically abuse a woman.

Yeah, and you’re not biased at all. You’ve got it so bad you’ll believe whatever he says.

Miles felt himself flush. His judgment was probably compromised; there was no denying it. But he still felt absolutely certain that Ian wasn’t capable of physical abuse. Enjoying rough, kinky sex was one thing; abusing one’s partner was completely another.

“It wasn’t your dad,” Miles said, taking Liam’s hand and looking him in the eye. “Your dad never hurt your mom.”

Liam shook his head stubbornly and turned away, back to his LEGO house.

Miles stared at the back of his dark head, feeling more useless than ever. Fuck, he was a business major, not a social worker. He knew nothing about kids’ psychology. At this point, Miles was pretty sure him being unqualified for this job was actually detrimental for Liam’s correct development and mental health. Liam needed someone who would help him get through this, a qualified professional who would know what to say, would know how to fix the issue, not someone who had no clue what he was doing.

He had to quit.

His stomach clenched at the thought, but he knew it was the right thing to do. He cared about this little boy so much, but caring wasn’t enough. Liam wasn’t a normal child. He was a child who’d been through several traumatic experiences, a child without a mother, who was irrationally scared of his own dad. The truth was, Miles had no idea how to help him. These were Liam’s formative years. He couldn’t risk hurting the boy’s development just because he didn’t want to leave—just because he’d gotten a bit too attached.

To whom? a voice said snidely at the back of his mind. The boy or his father?

Miles pushed the thought away. In the end, it didn’t matter, did it? He still couldn’t stay. He should leave for many reasons. He should leave before he could hurt Liam with his incompetence. He should leave before Liam got too attached—in a month, it would be much harder for the boy when Miles suddenly disappeared from his life.

He should leave.

By the time he heard the sound of the car pulling into the driveway, Miles was convinced it was the right course of action. He was going to tell Ian that he was quitting the moment he saw him.

Not wanting to have that conversation in front of Liam, Miles left the room and headed toward the front door.

But Ian was already walking upstairs.

Miles stood at the top of the grand stairs, watching Ian ascend unhurriedly, his piercing eyes fixated on Miles as Ian loosened his tie.

Miles’s heart thudded in his chest so fast he felt nearly dizzy. He felt hot all over, as if he was running a low-grade fever.