Just a Bit Dirty (Straight Guys 10)

If they did the latter, Ian’s favorite part wasn’t even the sex. It was what came after: when Miles was a needy mess that needed comfort and care. His care. Caring for Miles did things to him that Ian couldn’t even put into words. There were no words for that feeling: he felt both ten feet tall and incredibly humbled by Miles’s trust.

It wasn’t as though he’d never provided aftercare after scenes with his women. Of course he had. But with Miles, it felt far more intimate. Never had he felt like kissing the tips of his partner’s fingers and giving them the world if they asked him to. Luckily, Miles had never used that weakness against him.

Until the day he did.

The evening started normally enough. After dinner, they played with Liam until his bedtime and then went to the movie room to watch something together. Except Miles didn’t seem interested in watching the movie. He spent most of the movie half on Ian’s lap, all but clinging to him. At some point, he started kissing Ian’s neck, and that predictably ended with them having sex on the couch.

Afterward, Ian stared at the ceiling and wondered with some amusement when he’d become such an exhibitionist that having sex outside the bedroom was the norm for him now. At least over the past few weeks, the staff had learned to stay out of their way.

“Can you promise me something?” Miles murmured against his chest, his voice still a little breathless.

Ian hummed, stroking his bare back. The shape of it was fascinating, the way Miles’s spine curved gently to the soft globes of his ass. There was a small mole on Miles’s lower back, just above the two dimples above his buttocks. Ian had kissed the mole countless times before trailing his mouth down and licking between Miles’s cheeks until the boy was sobbing and begging him to fuck him.

“Abandon your plans for revenge against the Rutledges.”

Ian’s hand went still on Miles’s back. “That’s not something I can promise.”

Miles sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.” The disappointment in his tone was palpable, and Ian clenched his jaw.

He wasn’t going to fold, dammit.

He wasn’t.

“Derek has never even met your sister,” Miles said. “He didn’t really think that someone would get hurt—”

“That’s right. He didn’t think. Look, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?” Miles said softly, his lips brushing Ian’s skin as he spoke.

Because I want to indulge your every little whim, and that isn’t ideal considering the subject.

Ian said flatly, “Because Derek Rutledge is a selfish asshole who damaged Amanda’s mental health and nearly succeeded in killing her.”

Miles was quiet for a moment.

“But he wasn’t the one who did it,” he said. “His actions inadvertently did.”

“There’s a difference?”

“I think there is,” Miles said, his voice slow and thoughtful. “He couldn’t have possibly known that she would take it so badly. Most people would have been just humiliated after being publicly jilted.”

Ian looked at the ceiling. It was true enough, he supposed. Amanda had been a very sensitive child, and it only became worse as she entered adolescence. It didn’t help that her father was a prominent politician: the public scrutiny on their family had always been immense. Being publicly jilted had been just the last push.

“She’s always been very sensitive,” he admitted.

“See, Derek couldn’t have possibly known about it if he never even met her,” Miles said.

“It doesn’t change anything,” Ian said tersely. “He publicly humiliated her. She has chronic depression thanks to him.” He took a deep breath, trying to rein in his temper. Rationally, he knew he shouldn’t be getting angry at Miles—he considered the Rutledges his friends—but there was a part of him that didn’t like that Miles wasn’t taking his side. He should always take my side, his hindbrain insisted, viciously possessive. He’s mine.

Ian grimaced and squashed down those thoughts. He’d been doing it more and more often lately, except he couldn’t completely erase them, no matter how hard he tried.

Miles sighed. “Look, I hate to sound like some goody-two-shoes, but two wrongs don’t make a right. Ruining the Rutledges’ lives won’t fix what happened to your sister.”

“No, but it will make me feel better.”

Miles chuckled, which then turned into outright laughter.

Ian stared at him. “Care to share the joke with me?”

Lifting his head, Miles gave him a rueful smile. “It’s just really messed up that my first thought was ‘if it’ll make you feel better, then I guess it’s totally fine to do it.’ I actually thought that for a moment. I think you broke my brain.”

Ian didn’t know what to say to that.

He just looked at Miles, and Miles looked back at him, his smile softening.

There was something tangible in the air, an emotion Ian could practically taste.

Before he could say anything, Miles cleared his throat and averted his gaze. “I bought a ticket home,” he said, sitting up and reaching down for his discarded boxers to put them on.