Perfect Fit (Serendipity's Finest 1)
Page 76
“Jesus. Is it really that easy for you?” he asked, as if he were the wounded party.
“Are you kidding? Nothing about being with you is easy!” She’d give him her heart on a platter if he asked, but he hadn’t. He wouldn’t. And the pain that would slice through would be sharp enough without adding to it by knowingly letting him in.
He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her tight. “Join the club, baby.”
She managed a laugh at his use of their word and laid her head against his chest with a sigh. He smelled good, his musky warm scent sending her senses reeling.
“I still wish you’d called me,” he said, his lips against her hair.
“And I wish I didn’t care about you so much, but we don’t always get what we want.” She turned and started to walk away, to give herself much-needed space and distance.
Not because she was angry or upset but because she wanted to jump into his arms and lose herself in everything that was Mike. And losing herself wasn’t something she could afford to do. She thought of her mother, giving up her sense of self for a man who couldn’t give her what she needed. Mike wasn’t abusive like Cara’s father, but he couldn’t give her what she deserved either.
“Cara.” He grabbed her arm and spun her back to face him, the pain on his face indicating he wasn’t happy about their situation. “I feel more too.” He stroked a hand across her cheek.
“But it doesn’t change anything, does it?”
He winced, and she had her answer. Just because she’d expected it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. “I’m starving,” she said, focusing on something she could control. “I’m going to heat up some lasagna. Want some?”
He shook his head. “I ate at my parents’.”
Without waiting for his reply, Cara headed toward the kitchen. Her bare feet stuck out of her navy, overly large Serendipity PD sweat pants, her bare waist peeking beneath her cropped top, her ponytail swishing against her back. She’d never looked more appealing. Mike groaned and followed her.
She had so many valid points, he didn’t know where to begin. Did his feelings for her change anything about his future intentions? The truth was, he didn’t know. Everything about his return to Serendipity was unexpected, from the overwhelming depth of feelings he had for this woman to the lack of desperation to leave. But Simon was feeling stronger and he would come back as chief, which would put Mike out of a job.
Could he stay in Serendipity as a detective or cop? Did he even want to? He didn’t know, and until he did, he wouldn’t give her false hope.
He waited until she’d put her dinner in the microwave before capturing her between his body and the kitchen counter. She studied him in silence with too-wise blue eyes.
“Know what I like most about you?” she asked.
The question surprised him. “My good looks?” he quipped.
She slipped her hands around his waist. “Other than that.”
“My charm?”
She managed a laugh. “Besides that—you’ve always been up front with me. Knowing where I stand makes whatever happens more bearable.”
He smiled at the compliment. One that somehow, deep inside, didn’t make him feel very good about himself at all.
Mike stayed while she ate dinner. He asked if she wanted to talk about Daniella or her situation, but she said no, she’d done enough of that all day. So they discussed things like the state of the computer system at the station and Annie and Joe’s upcoming wedding. Mike watched an episode of Law & Order, which she loved and he found ridiculous, so he focused on her devouring half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s instead. Her lips wrapped around the spoon and she slowly savored the ice cream, licking the treat with her tongue and moaning with each chunk of cookie dough she found in the tub.
He couldn’t take another minute and not pick her up and carry her to bed. He had no doubt she’d let him, too. She wasn’t one to hold on to hurt or disappointment. Discu
ssion finished, she hadn’t brought it up again, nor did she punish him with moodiness or any inkling of disappointment.
As they chatted about everyday things, as she seemed content, his mood worsened, which only pissed him off. He had a woman who accepted his life and wasn’t making demands. He should be relieved. Hell, he should be sinking into her willing body and taking everything she was willing to give. But she’d had a rough weekend and though he knew sex would be a good temporary distraction, he couldn’t shake the feeling that sleeping with her tonight, when their feelings were so raw, wouldn’t be fair to her.
She met his gaze over her spoonful of ice cream and grinned.
Okay, maybe her feelings weren’t raw after all, but his were. He was feeling unsettled after their intense talk, almost…unhappy that he was getting everything he wanted and thought he needed out of a relationship.
So instead of staying, he kissed her good night and headed home.
Monday morning, Mike stared at the mound of paperwork on his desk that seemed to have grown over the weekend. He had a part-time administrative assistant, a fifty-five-year-old woman named Rachel who liked to mother him and the rest of the officers who worked under him. Thankfully she was on this morning, and when she walked in with two cups of coffee, he gratefully accepted his and they got to work.
While she sifted through the various papers, Rachel made notes, updated his calendar, and sorted everything into piles for filing later on.