Perfect Fit (Serendipity's Finest 1)

Hell, who was he kidding? He needed to breathe.

Sixteen

Since his father’s announcement, Mike was off kilter and completely thrown. In another life, he’d have had one foot out of town, but he had enough sense of responsibility to know he had things to wrap up here. And he had a woman he cared deeply for—maybe even loved—who deserved more than for him to pack up and leave without telling her.

It was Wednesday and Joe’s Bar hadn’t yet started hopping when Mike and Sam met up for chicken wings. Off duty, Sam decided to call friends to join them later on, and Alexa, Erin, Dare, and Liza and whoever else in Sam’s crowd decided to show. Mike already knew Cara would be there, since she’d mentioned it when he’d seen her on Monday. He hadn’t spoken to her since.

He hadn’t picked up the phone.

Instead he’d spent the last two days alone with his thoughts and the occasional shot of whiskey for good measure. Not that he’d gotten far in his thinking, hence this sit-down with Sam.

Mike and his brother talked about family stuff for a while before Sam studied Mike through narrowed eyes. “What gives?” he asked at last. “You look like you’re jumping out of your skin.”

Mike rolled his shoulders, but it did little to alleviate the stress.

“Last week you were mellow. Less antsy. What changed?”

Mike leaned in closer. “Dad’s thinking of retiring. He wants to recommend that I replace him permanently.”

Sam’s eyes opened wide. “No shit?”

Mike gestured to Joe for a shot of whiskey. He wasn’t on duty and he didn’t want to think. “Wish I were kidding, little brother.”

“What’s Cara say about this?”

Mike narrowed his gaze. “She doesn’t know.”

Joe placed his drink on the counter and strode away, giving them privacy once more.

“Don’t you think she’d want to know?” Sam asked. He tipped his beer bottle to his lips.

“Do not open your mouth,” Mike warned his sibling. “You’re the one always saying that you don’t want her hurt. So let me handle this in my own way.”

“Explain.”

Mike rubbed the cold glass between his palms. “Every time I think about staying for good, my insides twist into painful knots. It’s not something I ever considered. She knows it. Once I tell her all this…things will blow up fast. I need to find the right time and place.”

Sam’s expression showed his disappointment. “And here I thought that you’d been looking pretty settled and happy these last weeks.”

So had he. “As soon as Dad asked me to stay, it was like a noose wrapped around my neck.”

“Don’t you think maybe it’s time to grow up?” Sam asked.

“Go to hell,” Mike muttered, grinding his teeth at his brother’s inability to understand. “Look at my history. I move through life quickly, no time to think too hard or focus too much because any time I did, it felt like I was suffocating.”

“Didn’t look like it last week,” Sam muttered. “Or the week before that.”

His parents had said something similar, but neither of them could possibly comprehend the choking feeling he experienced at the very thought of a commitment like that.

Mike shifted in frustration and decided to dig into his past for examples. “When I was here before, starting out and then again in Atlantic City, walking the beat made me crazy. I couldn’t do w

hat you do every day without going insane. When my superior got me the shot to do undercover in Manhattan, he did it because he knew I needed the excitement. The adrenaline rush.”

Sam expelled a long breath. “Okay, so you aren’t getting that rush in meetings. But do you still need it? Really? Or do you get it from other things in your life? Other people?” Sam leaned in closer. “One woman in particular?”

“I. Don’t. Know.” And that was the crux of the problem. Mike expected to need the variety and the constant thrill. Expected it, but as he thought about his brother’s question, Mike could admit that lately, no, he hadn’t missed the adrenaline rush.

“What about women?” Sam asked. “Since Tiffany, you’ve kept them all at a distance, right?”