“It’s part of my job to push—but I really want to know you,” she said.
“Then you must be damned good at it,” he said, and she knew he was close to cracking.
“I am. Now talk.”
“There’s not much to tell. It sure as hell isn’t glamorous. It’s dangerous, spending great lengths of time pretending to be someone else, living a fake life. It can blur the line between who you’re pretending to be and who you really are. Sometimes we have to do . . . things that are legally and morally wrong to ensure the greater good. As a result, stress reactions are normal.”
Erin knew he was giving her a clinical reaction and description of his work, not the emotionally true one, but she’d take what she could get. “Go on,” she said softly, not wanting to break whatever spell had him revealing things to her.
He stared at the ceiling and continued. “We’re trained to go in, to deal; and when we get out, we’re debriefed and shrinked until they believe we’re stable and can go back under. That’s how I know what you were feeling, and that’s why I suggested help.”
She swallowed hard. “I’m getting help.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I am! From you.” She answered his unspoken question. “You’re here for me. You diagnosed me,” she said with a grin. “That explanation helped me understand. And I haven’t had a panic attack since you held me in your arms afterward.” She stared into the face she trusted and released a contented sigh. “See? Feeling better already.”
He narrowed his gaze, clearly uncertain if she was feeding him a line. She wasn’t. Not by a long shot. Everything about this man soothed her in ways she didn’t understand. Not when those very things screamed danger, both to her life and to her heart.
“Anything else I can do to help?” he asked.
Erin’s mind had already moved on from her nightmare to her greatest desire. He’d opened up to her and she felt closer to him emotionally, but it wasn’t enough. They’d been living together, tiptoeing around the past, the sexual tension, the yearning she could no longer deny.
She was independent and would remain so during Cole’s stay as well as after his departure, but right now, she was female and she had needs only he could fill.
He was here and he was offering to help . . . not that he knew what was on her mind. She wanted him—and she had every intention of getting what she needed.
Wide green eyes with flecks of gold stared at Cole as he waited for her to tell him what he could do to help calm her.
“You can hold me,” she said, her boldness shocking him.
When he hesitated, she grinned. “Okay, that’s too much for you too?”
“Wiseass,” he mut
tered, stalling for time. Everything about her drew him in—her strength and beauty, her independent spirit and sense of self-worth.
She was single, pregnant, and not complaining. Standing up to her bossy brothers, not to mention going toe-to-toe with him. Only when her subconscious took over did she allow normal human frailty to show.
And man, did Cole get that. So how could he deny her this moment of peace?
Especially when he wanted it too.
“Turn around,” he said, sensing he was approaching a threshold he really shouldn’t cross, especially with her wearing a short camisole nightie with lace, all her satiny soft skin showing through.
Her eyelids fluttered, and she flipped over, immediately scooting backward until she pressed against his chest and her ass snuggled into his crotch. His cock, which he’d managed to maintain some control over in her presence, reacted immediately, and now he was hard as nails.
With a sigh, she relaxed into him, while he was now totally tense as well as erect.
“I haven’t been sleeping,” she said quietly.
His arms tightened around her. “Probably because you haven’t felt safe.”
“I feel safe with you.” She snuggled closer against him.
Her words made him uneasy. She had too much faith in him that went beyond basic protection. If she trusted him, she was doomed to disappointment. But he couldn’t push her away. Instead, his hand settled on her stomach.
He couldn’t get over the fact that his baby was in there, and at the thought, something warm and unfamiliar settled inside him. Made him wonder what kind of parent he’d be. He didn’t have the best example of what to do. More like what not to do. He figured that was a start.