Throttled (Dirty Air 1)

My eyes water, clouding my vision. Everything feels final. We’ve circled one another for three months, and now it’s over, gone in the blink of an eye. I respect him for sharing and being honest about who he is.

“Thank you for a great date. It’ll be a hard one to top, even with everything.” I sneakily inhale one last breath of his jacket before passing it back to him.

“Likewise.” His cocky grin doesn’t exactly reach his eyes.

“I better get going. Santi will be wondering where I went for so long.”

He presses the button. “Yeah, sure.” His arms pull me in for a hug while his lips brush softly against mine, giving me a goodbye kiss that should be reserved for lovers—intimate, kind, and packed with unspoken words. My heart perks up before he pulls away.

Elevator doors open, the empty car a welcoming sight. I walk in and turn around.

“Bye, Noah. See you tomorrow.”

His intense gaze is the last thing I see before the doors close.

20

Noah

The first thing I feel when I wake up is the pulsing of my head.

The second thing I feel is a hand crawling up my chest.

The third thing I feel is intense regret.

Fuck. Please tell me it’s Maya’s hand.

I look down at long, red nails. Maya’s don’t look like these talons scratching at my chest, preferring natural nail colors. These hands are a symbol of my past. Nausea crawls up my throat as I lean my head back down on a pillow.

I comb through the memories of last night, of how I took Maya out on the date I planned. Never thought I could have such a good time with someone while doing absolutely nothing except eating, drinking, and kissing.

The date was my favorite, at least out of my short list.

And the erotic way Maya kisses. Fuck me. Kissing her feels like I did it wrong with all the women before her.

But what the fuck happened after? I struggle to remember what I did once she pulled the stops on me. Images flash of her rejecting me with sadness in her eyes, knowing I can’t give her what she needs. The ultimate blow still feels fresh based on the way my chest constricts at the thought.

Memories hit me all at once, flooding my brain with unwanted recollections. Lots of shots. Liam and Jax at a club, groups of women coming onto us at our VIP table. It feels like I went back to a time before I met Maya.

Shit. My crappy decisions proved Maya’s point of not being the type of guy she wants to date. Not in the slightest. I sure as fuck wouldn’t want to date someone like me.

My back lifts off of the mattress and a blonde girl topples off me.

“You need to go. Now,” my voice rasps. Another reminder of my bad decisions, along with my dry

mouth and aversion to sunlight.

I don’t want to spend another moment with this woman, the look and feel of her all wrong. Her rose scent, mixed in with the smell of sex and booze, chokes me, incomparable to Maya’s fresh one. My stomach rolls at the thought of how badly I fucked up.

I head to the bathroom, choosing to brush my teeth first, wanting to cleanse my mouth from the taste of that woman and alcohol. My battered-up face makes me wince. Disgust rolls through me at my sunken eyes and pale, sickly skin.

I take a shower, eager to rid myself of the woman’s smell and everything else associated with her and a bad ending to my night. By the time I get out, there’s no sign of her, except for the underwear she left on a pillow. My body shudders as I dump her souvenir in the trash.

I pull my phone from the plug, glad I remembered to charge my battery. At least I made one responsible decision because, overall, I’m a fucking idiot.

Are you shitting me? I didn’t set my alarm, missing my practice sessions.

Shit. Shit. Shit!