“Yeah, well, sorry won’t cut it anymore. Words are empty. They don’t mean anything unless you back them up.”
He fists his hands by his side. “That’s exactly my problem. I can’t back up the words I want to say, so all I do is get angry.”
“Why?” The question bouncing around in my head for the past few months escapes me. Why is he the way he is? Why can’t he do what he wants? Why does he choose to make destructive decisions?
“I’m not getting into this with you.”
“If you won’t talk to me, then learn how to control yourself.”
He lets out an exasperated sigh. “Don’t you get it? That’s all I’ve tried to do.”
I step away and throw my hands in the air. “What do you mean? You’re beyond frustrating! Honestly, you give me a serious case of emotional whiplash.”
“Controlling myself includes staying the fuck away from you. Looking at you annoys me because it reminds me of everything going wrong in my life,” he blurts out.
I eliminate the last bit of space between us, placing my hand on his bicep. “What’s going wrong?”
He looks at my hand, the fire in his gaze fading as his eyes shut. “It’s not about what’s going wrong because everything is wrong. Including having you around.”
What does someone say to that?
I don’t have a chance to think of a response because Jax strolls into his room, closing me off once again.
15
Jax
“Hey, Mr. Second Place in the Entire World Championship. Way to represent the Kingston name.” My mum’s voice echoes through the speakerphone.
I place my luggage in my closet, ready for Baku’s race week. “Oh stop. Your fanfare is too much for me.”
“Get used to it. She’s your biggest supporter,” Dad says. “So, what’s your plan for today?”
“Not much. I have a sponsor event and some interviews today,” I grumble.
“What a chore, living the high life.” Dad laughs.
“And how are all your friends?” Mum loves to hear about them.
“Liam and Sophie are good. She couldn’t come to this race because of uni. She’s been trying to travel with us some weekends between her school schedule. And Noah and Maya are all hot and heavy—lots of snogging involved. I bet they’ll get married within a year or two.”
“Young love.” Mum sighs.
“And is that Elena girl still following you around?” Dad can’t help but probe about her.
“Yup. Still here keeping my image squeaky clean.” Not that I’ve been much of a help. I’ve done everything in my power to keep to myself since last week’s supposed kiss with Elena that I can’t remember for the life of me. I don’t know whether to be grateful for the amnesia or hate myself for forgetting.
“Thank God. It was hard defending your actions in front of my book club. They keep labeling you as some bad boy and I can’t bear my son matching the antics of some of our characters. Absolute arseholes, some of them.” Mum laughs.
“How dare your friends objectify me that way!” I let out a mock gasp of horror.
“You have no idea what they say about some men. Not that you need to worry, honey,” she whispers to my dad.
I cough once the speaker picks up their kissing. “I’m still here.”
“Sorry. Oh, no! Look at the time. I need to run. Gwen asked me to grab some type of wine for our movie night. Take care, love bug!”
We all know Mum won’t run anywhere. The thought alone makes my stomach roll.