Wrecked (Dirty Air 3)

I spend the entire journey toward a cab chanting to myself that I can make it. How I can keep my emotions neutral until I’m out of eyesight. The moment I enter the car, a sob tears through my throat. I shut my phone off and give in to the sadness and betrayal, allowing myself this one moment of weakness.

I promise myself when I get home, I won’t cry anymore. Not for my career. Not for my past. And most definitely not for people who don’t appreciate the good in their life.

I’m done saving people at the expense of myself. I’m done holding on to a past of hurt, hoping it gets better without putting in the work. And most of all, I’m done with Jax Kingston, and nothing anyone can say or do will convince me otherwise.

45

Jax

“I hope you’re fucking happy, you piece of shit.” Elías shoves me.

Sweat runs down my face after an intense practice session. My parents thought it would be a good idea to skip the rest of the race weekend, but I couldn’t do that to my team. Plus, missing would set off too many of Elena’s alarms. I couldn’t give a shit about winning the Championship anymore, not when I lost so much already. Even being a few points behind Noah is lackluster. How could I be happy about possibly winning a Championship in a couple of months when I have nothing to look forward to afterwards?

Somehow, Elías kept his anger at bay for a few hours while we finished interviews and practiced around the track. It was no secret he resented me for what I did to Elena this morning, but he kept it professional in front of reporters and the crew. My moment of peace comes to an end as he stares at me with his nostrils flaring and his eyes wild and out for my blood.

Elías pushes me again, causing mechanics to stare at us.

I snap. “Keep your hands to yourself before I show you how nice mine feel when they rearrange your face.”

Elías snarls. “You’re the worst teammate. The worst boyfriend. Just the absolute fucking worst.”

“Do you plan on sharing some new information with me?” I pocket my hands to hide their trembling.

“I shouldn’t have told her to try anything with you. You ruined everything. Now her grandma has to move to a new facility after getting used to her new home. All because you’re an asshole who couldn’t keep your cool for one year. One fucking year! Elena and I grew up with barely anything, and you’re here ruining her job because you want to. I’m going to make it my personal mission to make your life miserable here. I promise you.”

My body stiffens. “What do you mean her gran will have to move homes?”

Elías’s fists tighten. “Your contract was based on a monthly pay. Now that the season is cut short for her, she can’t afford that new place. And Elena doesn’t accept shit from people without her working for it, so she’ll never take my money if I offer to pay for her abuela’s stay. Trust me, I’ve tried. Y

our little stunt not only made it hard for others to hire her but now she doesn’t get the bonus she was relying on to pay off her bills. So, fuck you, Kingston. I hope getting drunk was worth ruining your reputation and hers.” Elías flips me off and leaves the garage.

Shit. I didn’t think through the issue about Elena’s contract. How could I when I was battling my own news.

Fuck. Motherfucking shit. This is why I overanalyze decisions. Irrational ones like the one I did lead to shit like this. I ignore the anxiety creeping into my brain because I don’t have the luxury of freaking out right now. Elena needs my help whether she wants it or not. It’s the least I can do.

I hurry to Connor’s office and barge in without knocking.

“It was only a matter of time before I saw you again. Come back for more berating? I’m surprised this morning’s lecture wasn’t painful enough for you.”

Trust me, his lecture was the least painful thing of my entire week.

“I’m not here for me. I need to talk to you about Elena.”

Connor shakes his head. “Why do you care? You’re the one who didn’t want her around.”

I sit in the empty chair across from his desk. “I don’t want her around but that doesn’t mean I think she shouldn’t be paid for all the harm I’ve caused. I’ll cover the rest of Elena’s contract, so don’t withhold her pay because of my mistake. Consider it hazard pay.”

“I should say no so you learn your lesson and live with the consequences of your actions.”

My hope takes a skydive. “Punish me however you want. I don’t give a shit as long as she gets the money she always planned on receiving.” My voice hints at the desperation I feel.

Connor sits back in his chair and stares at me. “Tell me why you did it and I’ll see if I feel up to your demand.”

“No.”

“You’re not in the position to bargain. If you don’t share, then it’s not my problem what happens to her.” He shrugs, dismissing me.

I weigh my decision carefully. A few deep breaths do nothing to ease the heaviness in my stomach. “I didn’t plan on ruining her chance at a job and her paychecks.”