“Well, that’s a relief. I wasn’t sure if you’d ignore me or kiss me.”
I remain silent because I’m afraid my words will betray how I truly feel about her. As much as I wished for her to be here, it’s not what should happen.
Elena sighs. “I might as well get this over with.?
?? She rubs her thumb across my stubble before pulling away. “First off, you’re the most frustrating man I have ever met. You pushed me away on purpose and if you ever do that to me again, I will threaten bodily harm.”
“I don’t know wha—”
She presses a finger against my lips, shutting me up. “Save the bullshit for anyone but me. I know, Jax. I know about it all.” Her voice becomes somber as she stares at me with tears reflecting off her eyes.
“What do you mean?” my voice croaks.
“I know you didn’t get the news you wanted. I know you said every terrible thing to get me to run away. That you somehow got Connor to pay my entire year salary despite being fired, and how Bandini hired me because of your connection. You tried your best to make sure I was okay without you, even though I most definitely wasn’t. You don’t need to pretend anymore that you’re okay. I don’t want you to. I want the good and the bad, and everything in between with you.”
I lean my forehead against hers and let out a deep breath. “Who told you?”
“Does it matter who? That’s not the point.”
“No, but is that the reason you came here? Because of me helping you?”
“No.” She lets out an agitated breath. “I came here because you deserve the whole goddamn world and every snow-globe moment. And I’m selfish because I want all those moments to be with me.”
I shut my eyes, shielding the yearning. “I should walk away. Permanently.”
She scoffs. “I’d like to see you try. I don’t care about any of it. Nothing about your diagnosis scares me. You could start having symptoms tomorrow, and I’d want to be there for you every single day after. I’ve been through drastic losses in my life and the last thing I want is to lose the person I love because he would rather be alone than with me.” Her voice breaks.
I grip her neck and force her to look up at me. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“Who said anything about asking? I’m taking our future into my own hands.”
“What about kids?”
“What about them? There are other ways to have children. Sperm donors, adoption—the options are endless. I don’t care about the details as long as I can have you.”
“Elena…” I look away, nervous to meet her gaze. “Are you sure about this? Because if you claim you want it all, then I get to do the same.”
Her small fingers clutch my chin and force me to face her. “I wouldn’t want it any other way. Live a messy life with me, Jax Kingston. I want chaos. I want darkness. I want sunshine and rainstorms with you. But most of all, I want you any way I can have you because I love you.”
Her words sink into my skin, etching themselves like the ink that covers my body. I didn’t realize how much I needed her until I let her go.
“I love you too. Even when I tried my hardest not to.” My hand tightens around the back of her neck and I tug her lips to mine. I kiss her with every ounce of love I feel, hoping I can express every apology I wanted to say to her. To remind her of every moment I missed her, craved her, wanted to crawl back to her.
She sighs and I take advantage, running my tongue along the seam of her lips before having a taste. With Elena, one kiss is never enough. It’ll never be enough, in all the days of my life, from here on out. Despite my desire to continue, I pull away.
She protests with a groan. I chuckle as I clutch onto her hand and drag her toward McCoy’s motorhome. Fans call my name out and I nod, barely paying attention because I’m on a mission.
My dick throbs in anticipation as we make it back to my private suite. I pull her in for another kiss, making quick work of removing her clothes. She tugs on the zipper of my race suit, and I help, ridding myself of the sweaty, champagne-soaked clothes.
“Fuck. I’ve missed you.” I take her in, loving every curve on her body.
“Me too.” She sighs as my lips find her neck and suck.
“If I were a good guy, I’d take you back to my hotel and give you a reunion you deserve.”
“I’m not here to date the good guy.” She cups my erection and rubs her thumb across the slit.
I drop my head back and groan. “Then be prepared for all the bad.”