“Yes, I do.” She let out a sigh. “This isn’t easy for me. Meeting her wasn’t easy for me. She’s always been between us, you know.”
He shook his head, denying it. “I never wanted you to feel that way.”
She shrugged. “In the beginning, I had no idea, but after my first trip to Stewart with you, I learned more about her than I ever wanted to know. It put her between us. And the harder you worked and the less time you spent at home, I felt sure it was because you wished you’d never gotten me pregnant. Never had to marry me. I always thought you wished I was Gabrielle,” Marlene admitted.
Derek was stunned. In all their years together, they’d never talked about Gabrielle. They’d never talked like this.
He met Marlene’s gaze. “I’m sorry. That was never my intention. If I could have been with Gabrielle, I would have been. I chose to marry you.”
She waved her hand through the air. “That’s all old news. But she’s in your life now and I have to come to terms with it. Just like you’ve had to come to terms with John in mine and in Holly’s.”
Derek shook his head. “She’s not in my life. I was giving her a place to stay while she was in trouble and making sure she was safe, but we’re not…We aren’t together anymore.”
Marlene narrowed her gaze. “Why the hell not?” she asked him.
He blinked at the vehemence in her tone. “Because…” He struggled for a way to explain himself that wouldn’t hurt Marlene’s feelings. He’d cared about her in a special way, and if he confessed that he couldn’t be with Gabrielle because he loved her, it would be the same as admitting he’d never been in love with Marlene.
He loved Gabrielle.
Holy—
“Derek, did you hear what I said?”
He shook his head, wishing he hadn’t heard his own thoughts.
“I said that the curse is bullshit,” Marlene said.
He raised his gaze, focusing on his usually polite ex-wife. She rarely cursed. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You might never have explained the curse or your feelings for Gabrielle to me, but other people have. And I’ve spent enough time with your father to understand the way of things with you Corwin men. You were madly in love with Gabrielle but you broke up with her rather than admit it, to spare yourself the pain involved in the curse.”
Derek opened his mouth, but when she raised her hand to stop him, he shut it again.
“Let me finish,” Marlene demanded.
“Go on.” He gestured for her to do just that.
“You married me because I was pregnant, but most important you married me because you weren’t in love with me.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to. You never told me you loved me, either.” She spoke evenly, indicating she was long over the fact he hadn’t loved her and long over him.
Which didn’t alleviate his sense of guilt or shame. “Marlene—”
She shook her head. “Let it go. I have. Or at least I thought I had until I had to face Gabrielle in the flesh. But I’m past that now. You and I have a great little girl. We did something good together.”
“That we did.” He smiled at the thought of Ho
lly.
“But now you have a second chance to make things right with Gabrielle. Why aren’t you two together? Because you’re afraid to admit you love her and let some crazy curse kick in?” She stared at him as if he were mad.
The way he was feeling lately, she might just be right.
“Things happen in life. Divorce statistics are high. People die every day for no reason. They might get hit by a bus or a car. Others have affairs and ruin their lives. People make choices, but bad things do not happen because of a curse!” she said, her voice rising. “Sorry. But think about it.”
He rubbed his hand over his burning eyes. “It’s all I have thought about. Don’t you think Gabrielle’s said the same things to me?”