She bit the inside of her cheek. “I’m staying, Lucas. If you keep complaining about being here and sitting in the car doing work, I’d rather you just went back to L.A.” She folded her arms across her aching chest. “But if you care about me, you’ll stay here and try to get to know my family.” Her voice quivered along with her insides.
No matter what, she hadn’t traveled out here planning to end her relationship. She hadn’t even considered the reasons she should. But now they were flittering around the edges of her mind… and she blamed Max. Max, who still might mess up everything she had in L.A. Because if Lucas chose to stay and try to make things work, she’d have to tell him about that kiss and face the consequences. If he didn’t choose to stick around, well, he was stating he didn’t care enough to bother. In which case, she had no reason to hurt him with the knowledge. If he even cared enough to be hurt.
She met his gaze and waited.
He narrowed his gaze. “I don’t understand. I thought we complemented each other. No muss, no fuss, no hassle.” He sounded genuinely confused about why she was suddenly questioning things.
Though she’d thought about their relationship in much the same stark terms, hearing him phrase things so blandly hurt. Didn’t she want to mean more to someone than that? Damn Max for stirring up all these feelings and realizations.
“I thought that was enough for me, but coming here and seeing my family again, realizing how happy my brothers are… I’m not sure it is.”
He glanced at her through his dark sunglasses. “Wait one minute. What happened to your hair?” he asked, narrowing his gaze as he obviously really looked at her for the first time.
She ran a hand down the long strands, no longer pinned back tight the way he preferred. “I—”
“And your blouse is unbuttoned.” His jaw clenched. “You know I don’t like you looking like… like a tramp.”
She flinched. “Something happened… with Max.” She swallowed hard and forced herself to continue despite the cruel sting of his words. “I was going to tell you. I didn’t initiate it, but he kissed me. I’m sorry, but—”
Lucas rose and stood too close, anger vibrating off his body. “You didn’t suddenly look at your brothers’ relationships and decide that what we shared wasn’t enough for you. Jesus Christ. You fucking kissed that guy, and now you’re giving me an ultimatum you know damn well I won’t accept.”
“Lucas—”
She reached out for him, but he flung off her touch and attempt to calm him.
“It didn’t mean anything,” she assured him, even as her pounding heart and memories of Max’s sexy mouth and hot body declared her words a lie. But she couldn’t let inconvenient feelings mess up her well-ordered life. She wanted the safe and easy relationship she and Lucas shared.
“I took precious time off from work, traveled all the way out here, and you cheated on me like a common whore.” He slammed the back door hard.
She jumped at the sound, shocked at his crude words. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Don’t fucking talk to her like that.” Max stepped between them while Lucy stood stunned. His words had hit too close to home, and he’d never spoken to her like that before.
Lucas glared at Max, clearly assessing his angry competition. Max boxed for sport and fitness. Lucas didn’t. From the tight clench of Max’s fists to the muscles bulging in his forearms, he was damned close to taking a swing.
“I don’t have time for this bullshit or for you,” Lucas finally muttered. He stalked past her, brushing his shoulder against hers as he headed for the driver’s seat.
“Touch her again and you’ll be picking your teeth off the floor one by one,” Max muttered.
“Screw you.” Lucas closed himself inside the Lincoln Town Car, started the engine, floored the gas, and drove away without looking back.
Lucy closed her eyes, hating how things had turned out between them. She’d rather have ended things the right way, but Max had forced the issue.
And she hadn’t pushed him away.
Chapter Two
Max watched Lucy’s ex drive away, a combination of satisfaction and wariness eating at his gut. He’d charged in where he wasn’t invited and turned her life upside down. He felt bad. But he couldn’t say he was sorry.
Years. He’d waited years for this woman, believing in his heart and soul he would never have her. He’d even married another in the vain hopes of putting Lucy out of his mind and destroyed Cindy in the process.
The night his wife had died, they’d had a fight, just one of many. She’d wanted more from him than he was capable of giving her. She’d wanted him home more, devoting his nights to her instead of to his business. She’d grabbed her keys and run out crying. The cops said she probably never saw the truck until it swerved into her lane. She was gone in an instant.
And he had to live with the knowledge that he’d never have been able to love her the way he should’ve. And she’d known it as well. It’d taken years of self-exploration, some of it through his friendships with people in the BDSM world, to really see himself and his issues… and put them behind him. He’d had to come to terms with the fact that he’d done to Cindy what his parents had done to him. Held out the promise of love, caring, and a wonderful life only to fail in the execution. He’d emulated what he’d known, and that had been a mistake.
It helped that one guy in particular was a shrink who had no problem giving advice outside the office to people he cared about. Those long talks with Daniel Car
ver, who was still a close friend, and the ensuing years of learning to forgive himself had helped get Max ready for Lucy. Unfortunately she’d arrived with the asshole.