“By taking off? By not checking in, not once for the last two months?”
“You wouldn’t have wanted to hear from me.”
“Not true. Nobody blames you, Kevin. I don’t blame you.”
He slammed his hand down on the table. “I blame me.” If he hadn’t been babysitting Max, Tony wouldn’t have run off alone when he’d gotten the call to head over to a domestic dispute. Tony wouldn’t be dead and he wouldn’t be sitting here with his partner’s widow.
“So that’s how you handle guilt? That’s how you keep a promise?”
“By quitting the force and letting you two get on with your lives,” he explained. “Without any painful reminders.”
Janine’s laughter took him by surprise. “Is that what you think you did?” She sobered suddenly and studied his face. “Life went on, Kevin. But not the way you think.”
“Meaning?”
Janine’s arm swept the expanse of the bar, to where Nikki maneuvered between customers, taking orders and serving drinks. “Need I say more?” Janine asked.
“What happened to her degree? She had one semester left of student teaching.”
“You want information, I suggest you ask her for yourself.”
He paused then, realizing for the first time he had no idea how Nikki or Janine had gotten on since Tony’s death. Janine had Tony’s pension
, but was it enough?
And where did that leave Nikki? Her parents’ savings at the time of their death had been minimal. The farm had been mortgaged twice and he remembered Tony telling him the creditors had taken nearly everything, including insurance from the fire. With her brother, her only family and source of support gone, what choices had Nikki been forced to make? Kevin wondered. For a change, he hadn’t thought of anyone, taken care of anyone, but himself.
His old man’s favorite words came back to haunt him. Mannings were no good at taking care of anyone but themselves. His dead partner had been his first wake-up call, Nikki his second.
His gaze wandered to the woman he couldn’t forget. She stood, leaning over a male customer. The surge of jealousy was so strong and so foreign to him, Kevin barely heard Janine as she spoke. “She needs you.”
Nikki laughed at something the guy said and his hand cupped her waist in an too-familiar grip. She didn’t seem inclined to walk away. Kevin forced his gaze off Nikki’s waist and back to Janine. “Seems to me she’s doing just fine on her own,” he said.
Janine shot him a disbelieving stare. “I doubt Tony would agree.”
“Cheap shot,” he muttered.
“But true.” As she spoke, Nikki returned.
Despite the smoke, despite the distinct odor of alcohol, Kevin was aware of her. Her unique scent had lingered in his dreams and as she circled their seats, pausing only to slam down their drinks before moving on, he could swear she still wore the same perfume.
He watched her in action. She served neighboring tables, pausing to talk at some, flirt at others, and avoid wandering hands as she worked. From the easy way she maneuvered, he’d guess she’d been doing this for more than just a few nights. He looked to Janine for answers, but after having set him up, his companion disappeared.
He exhaled a groan. Nikki had a new look, a new job. From all outward appearances, she had a whole new life. One he was damn sure her brother wouldn’t approve of, one that put Kevin in a position he didn’t want to be in.
He’d left the morning after, believing that Nikki would be better off going on with her life without him around. After all, if his partner couldn’t count on him, what could he offer Nikki? She deserved better than him. He glanced around the crowded bar. Better than this, too. Kevin knew all about these places firsthand. He’d grown up hanging around the sleazier bars, tagging after his drunken father.
Knowing Nikki was subjecting herself to the leers and come-ons he’d seen his father make... Even if the guys wore suits instead of an out-of-work plumber’s overalls, they were after the same thing. From Nikki. The thought made him sick and Kevin refused to dwell on it any longer. Instead he settled in.
Throughout the night, Nikki glared at him plenty and refilled his drink once, but she didn’t stop to talk. Obviously she planned to ignore him until he decided to leave. With his track record, she probably figured it was only a matter of time. He wished he could oblige. Watching Nikki had aroused more than his curiosity and he didn’t like the feeling. He’d prefer to put it, and her, behind him as soon as possible.
And he would, as soon as he fulfilled his promise to Tony. Last time he left, he did so based on the assumption that Nikki would be fine without him. He’d been so wrapped up in himself and his mistakes that he’d made another one.
He’d left without checking facts, a damn stupid move for an ex-cop. He’d promised Tony that he’d make sure his family was okay. Before he dropped out of sight again, he intended to make sure he accomplished his goal.
* * *
Nikki Welles grabbed her fake fur coat from the hook in the back hall and glanced around the empty bar once more. Not a customer or ex-lover in sight. Apparently things hadn’t changed. He still made his getaway before facing her one-on-one. She fought back the recurring wave of nausea that threatened to overtake her. For a change, she hadn’t taken the time to eat before work and the greasy food at the bar didn’t appeal to her weak stomach.