Unfortunately, nothing was as simple as she’d like it to be. Which brought her back to her dilemma. No health insurance, no job once she started to show, and no valid means of support or daycare for her child. So much for dealing with tomorrow, Nikki thought.
She made her way back to the bar, following the same routine of previous nights. The pounding beat of rock music combined with the heavy sheen of smoke and the accompanying foul odors of cigars, cigarettes, and liquor worked against her. Nikki picked up the tray of drinks and tried holding her breath until she reached a semblance of fresh air away from the bar. The effort was futile, only serving to make the dizziness and nausea worse.
Good, Lord, why did they call it morning sickness? She paused at the table of men once more to empty her tray and defray another halfhearted attempt to arrange a date. The way things were going, it was destined to be a very long night.
* * *
Kevin stood with his back against the wall, nursing the same soda for the last hour. He didn’t want to call attention to himself by ordering another drink. He told himself he wanted to keep an eye on Nikki in case she had another fainting spell. That was part truth and part bull. He also wanted to keep an eye on the male customers with wandering eyes, roving hands, and too much testosterone. If the blond suit laid another hand on her while she served him his drink, Kevin would dump the guy’s beer in his lap himself.
He told himself he didn’t like seeing any woman harassed. This was true. He’d seen his lecherous father in action too many times, and had dragged his sorry, drunken butt home too often... sometimes before, sometimes after he’d offended the lady in question. But the truth tonight went way deeper than the issue of sexual harassment.
Kevin didn’t want another guy laying a hand on Nikki. She deserved better than Kevin Manning, but she was still carrying his child. That gave him the right to keep her safe.
When he’d let Tony down, Kevin had blown his one mayor responsibility in life. In doing so, he’d proven his drunken father right. Mannings were no good at handling responsibility. For awhile, Kevin thought he’d bypassed the old man’s prediction that the son would turn out no better than the father. Then a bullet had proven the old man right.
He’d followed that mistake by taking solace in Nikki... and ended up letting her down a second time. This child gave him another chance to do something right in his life. He had no idea how to be a parent or a husband. But no way was he about to blow his responsibilities.
Not with this woman. Not again. Just watching her bar routine sent a surge of something raw and primitive flowing through his veins. For the first time since he was an angry kid, he wanted to lash out and hit someone for attempting to take what was his. The thought made him laugh... because Nikki Welles was many things, including pregnant, but she wasn’t his.
FOUR
Three days with no word. Kevin figured he’d given Nikki enough time to digest her situation. She hadn’t called and he hadn’t expected her to. He had, however, had enough of the silent treatment.
He entered the familiar building and walked up the three flights of stairs. The dark stairwell with its many steps was another reason why he wasn’t comfortable with Nikki staying on here after Janine was gone. His rambling house with its many rooms on the ground level would be more comfortable for Nikki. And more difficult for him. Sharing a home with her would give him glimpses of warmth and the illusion of a family... He didn’t deserve either.
He knocked on the door and waited. No answer. Kevin banged again, louder this time. Janine was at work, but Nikki didn’t hold a day job. He’d chosen to arrive before nine, before Nikki would be out for the day. He leaned closer to the door and listened. Still silent. He banged again.
An uncomfortable prickle of fear worked on his nerves. Even if she’d been asleep, his pounding would have awakened her by now. He had no reason to believe anything was wrong... except she’d fainted once before. He had a hunch she wasn’t feeling as well as she claimed. What if she’d gotten dizzy again? What if she’d passed out cold on the floor, or worse, in the shower?
What if, like Tony, she was alone and something was wrong and he was too late? Kevin didn’t hesitate. He jimmied the lock and tore inside the apartment. The empty apartment, he realized as he glanced around and hit every room, checking the beds, the couch, and the floors.
Feeling like a fool, Kevin made his way into the kitchen and lowered himself onto one of the bar stools. He’d obviously overreacted. Though his adrenaline still flowed fast and his heart still pounded against his chest, he forced himself to breathe deeply. Part of him felt like an ass, breaking into the apartment on a whim. And part of him still felt uneasy.
He ran his fingers through his hair, attempting to calm his raging nerves. So Nikki had gone out early. He was sure he could count a number of places open at this hour, but he couldn’t discount the nagging feeling in his gut that something was off.
He looked around the impeccably clean apartment, seeing nothing unusual or out of place. Until his gaze fell to the open telephone book on the kitchen counter.
Planned Parenthood.
His worst fear was confirmed.
When Nikki had found out about the pregnancy, she’d said she needed time to think. Kevin had convinced himself she meant about how to deal with her altered future. But what if she’d spent the weekend thinking about whether she wanted this baby at all? Though Nikki loved life and children, she’d suffered enough in the last few months to have a skewed perception of reality. And the one person she ought to turn to, the baby’s father, had already proved he couldn’t be trusted when things got heated or emotional.
What if, feeling alone and abandoned, she turned to the one option she’d surely regret later? The one option he regretted now? Planned or not, Kevin was responsible for the life growing inside her and he was responsible for Nikki as well.
With a second glance at the phone book and address, in a part of town he would never allow her to frequent alone, he jumped from the stool and left the apartment, hitting the street at a dead run.
* * *
Nikki wrapped the white sheet around her naked body and waited for the doctor’s return. The sterile room felt cold and empty, unlike her heart, which was warm and full of more hope than she’d had in awhile. She pressed a hand against her flat stomach.
A child. Kevin’s child, yes, but it was her baby, her hope. Her future. Once the shock had worn off, she’d examined the difficulties that lay ahead and despite the fear and uncertainty, she acknowledged a flurry of nervous excitement as well.
“Sorry, I had an emergency phone call.” The young female doctor entered the room, wheeling a small machine behind her.
Nikki smiled. “That’s okay. You already gave me the news I was expecting... I mean the news I was expecting to hear.”
The doctor laughed. “Either way, sounds about right to me. Your examination was fine. Nothing unusual. But I’d like to verify the due date and check some other things with an ultrasound.” Nikki wanted to tell her there was no need to worry about the accuracy of her due date. She’d been with one man, one time. And she’d never forget.