With or without Kevin—whether he liked it or not—she had to get her degree and reestablish her independence. Or she’d lose herself and all the progress she’d made.
* * *
Kevin checked the locks on the warehouse door and headed back inside. The security cameras he’d installed would monitor comings and goings in detail, and so would the guard stationed at the desk. As a result, not only were his hands free, but so was his mind. Free to focus on Nikki and what he’d come to think of as the invasion of his home.
Having always lived alone, he’d grown used to complete silence. Not that he’d liked it, but it was all he’d known. And it was preferable to the sound of a drunk knocking into furniture or the constant fighting he’d grown up with.
When he’d moved into the old house, he hadn’t bothered with any kind of decorating beyond what his aunt had done—though with a baby on the way, he’d have to give some sort of thought to change. But for now he had his hands full with his female... What did he call her?
Houseguest was too generic a term for the soft female lounging in oversized tops and looking far too warm and welcoming for his peace of mind. He’d managed to keep his distance so far, but it hadn’t been easy. It took every ounce of discipline he’d learned on the force not to gather her into his arms and keep her there.
A dangerous notion. He’d be a fool if he didn’t see the matching longing in her violet eyes, or acknowledge the emotional connection between them. But to act on either would be to put his needs first, not Nikki’s. He’d done that once before, with disastrous results.
Not disastrous for him, since the thought of her pregnant with his child was a blessing. One he didn’t deserve. And one that had uprooted her entire life. Again. With his track record of letting her down, he didn’t intend to take any chances. So he intended to keep his distance and put her first for once. And maybe then he could look himself in the mirror without wanting to hit the reflection staring back at him.
By the time he walked back into the house, Mrs. Reid had finished cleaning up, had set his wrapped dinner on the counter and was ready to leave for the night. He glanced over the other woman’s shoulder, expecting to see Nikki settled in the recliner watching television, but the room was sparkling clean—and empty.
“Where’s Nikki?” he asked.
“In bed. Asleep.”
“Is she feeling okay?” Their trip to the clinic earlier in the week had been uneventful and the recommendation of the doctor there not much different than that of the emergency room attendant in the hospital.
Kevin wanted to broach the subject of leaving the clinic but he didn’t think Nikki was up to the argument. And he was certain she’d fight him. On this as well as other things. Kevin knew he had to build the foundation for approaching the subject of marriage in a way that would leave Nikki with no doubt it was the right solution. He just hadn’t yet figured out how to make his case.
Mrs. Reid grabbed for her light jacket and swung it over her shoulders. “She’s fine. I don’t even think it’s real exhaustion. She’s bored if you ask me. Had it with being cooped up.”
He exhaled. “Can’t say I blame her, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.” Another week and she’d return to the doctor, and if things stayed the same, she’d be allowed out of bed as long as she didn’t do anything strenuous.
“Boredom often comes from loneliness,” Mrs. Reid said with a pointed stare. “Can I speak my mind?”
Kevin nodded. Some insight into Nikki wouldn’t only help her, but it might make this new living arrangement more bearable. “Go on.”
“I didn’t realize until tonight that she wanted me to do more than clean around her and serve her meals. She wants company. Someone to talk to and some plain human interaction. We all need it.”
“Are you asking my permission to spend time with her? Even though you’re only here part-time, I hired you to be with her for whatever she needs. Not just to cook and clean.”
She shook her head. He thought she muttered, “Men,” under her breath. “Of course I’ll keep that girl company. I like her spirit. But I’m not the only one she needs something from.” She fished for her keys in her black leather purse. “Good night, Mr. Manning.”
“Night,” he muttered, knowing she was right. And not knowing what the hell to do about it.
He let Mrs. Reid out. Following instinct, he made his way toward Nikki’s room. She’d left the hall light burning but her room was dark. Kevin walked down the brightly lit hall toward the door, open just a crack. With any other woman, he’d consider it an invitation. But Nikki had never resorted to playing games.
Even the night she’d shown up on his doorstep, she hadn’t been shy about what she wanted. He stepped into the room, his gaze drawn to the figure in the bed. He walked closer. Her even breathing told him she was asleep.
He ought to turn and go. He’d done his duty. He’d checked and she was fine. He could leave her in peace. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to walk out. Instead he sat beside her on the double bed, careful not to move the mattress and wake her up. As if of its own volition, his hand moved, and he smoothed the dark hair off her forehead.
She stirred, rolling toward him. So much for good intentions, he thought.
“Kevin?” she murmured, her voice groggy with sleep.
“Right here.”
Her eyes opened slowly, and her gaze met his. Surprise warred with pleasure. Pleasure she quickly stifled and he felt its loss. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” It was too late to remove his hand, nor did he want to. He’d spent too much time keeping them apart but wanting more. He fingered the silken strands between his fingers.
He’d believed the only way their new living arrangement could work was if he kept his distance. He still believed that, but knew it was the selfish man’s way out. “So are you okay?” he asked.