Amber ushered the older men out the door and Gabrielle followed.
Mike waited until they were alone before turning to Jason. “You look like shit. We both know it’s because Lauren’s gone, so cut to the chase. What will it take to get her back?”
Jason decided to suck it up and admit the truth. Who better than his cousins to understand? “She asked me to go with her and I said no.”
Derek shook his head. “Have you learned nothing from all the years I lost with Gabrielle? So tell me why the hell you’re sitting here hungover instead of being with the woman you love?”
Wasn’t it obvious? “What the hell kind of life do I have to offer her?”
“If this is about the bogus drug test-”
Jason scowled at Mike. “Hell no. It’s about life. I’ve lived my whole life going after the gold, then one day it’s gone. I’m home running a contracting business that’s boring as shit and I don’t recognize the guy I see in the mirror each day.”
“So do something about it!”
“I have. Before I got stinking drunk, I called a couple of snowboard companies-Venue, Flow and Sapient to start-and offered my services for testing. I’d kill to get back on the mountain again.” And though testing wasn’t the same as sponsorship, Jason would start somewhere and work toward proving himself. If he could get a company to ignore his jaded past.
“Are you waiting for me to applaud?” Mike asked, his tone laced with sarcasm. He paced the den before turning back to stare at Jason. “Do things your way and you’ll have a career and no one to share it with. Is that what you want for yourself?”
No. “Hell, no.”
Jason’s head suddenly cleared. Not just from the hangover but from the idiocy that he’d been hanging on to.
Mike and Derek were right. What good would it do him to carve out a new set of goals without Lauren to share them with? Hadn’t he gone that route once before, when he’d been too young and stupid to understand what he was giving up?
Did he really want to tackle that slope again?
No.
Jason needed a shower. Then he had to look up flights to New York. Or Paris. Or wherever he could find Lauren right now.
Without a word, he turned and headed for the stairs.
“I think he caught on,” Jason heard Mike say.
Derek laughed. “It’s about damned time.”
Jason wasn’t as amused as his cousins. Because, unlike them, he understood Lauren’s insecurities, where they stemmed from and why she couldn’t let them go. By rejecting her, he’d hit on each and every one. It didn’t matter that he’d basically told her she was too good for him. She’d never see it as a compliment. He’d refused to accept her for who and what she was. In Lauren’s book, he’d committed a huge sin.
He only hoped it wasn’t an unforgivable one.
LAUREN MOVED UP her trip to Paris. She’d been back in New York for a few days, but after so much time away, it felt like she’d been gone for a year. After living in the large house with Jason, she found being alone in her tiny apartment claustrophobic and lonely. She truly hoped a change of continent would help her find herself again.
Because she wasn’t the same person who’d left Manhattan for Massachusetts. Back then she’d wanted only to finish the job and get on with her life. Yet now the life she’d been so eager to return to seemed less fulfilling than she’d remembered and she resented Jason for doing that to her. She wanted to rediscover the driven professional consumed with her goals and getting to the top of her field.
It had been too long since she’d sketched or even thought about what she wanted to create after the show in Paris. She’d put her designs on hold to help her family, and for what?
Whoa. Lauren gave herself a mental shake. She’d promised herself she would not second-guess the choices she’d made. She’d done right by her family and she could live with her decisions. Nothing else mattered.
Time to turn the page and move forward. She’d packed her sketch pads, certain France would provide fresh new inspiration for her designs. She’d clear her head, meet people and expand her horizons. And hopefully she’d also get over having her heart broken by Jason Corwin.
She pressed her palms against her temples. Okay, so it was going to be more difficult to stop thinking about her time with Jason than she’d hoped. But she’d promised herself she wouldn’t dwell there, if only because she couldn’t change the past. Especially since in this case, she should have known better than to hand Jason her heart.
She glanced at her watch. She had about half an hour before she had to leave her apartment and catch a taxi to the airport. She pulled a soda from her refrigerator and settled onto a couch to watch TV. Unable to find anything on regular television, she turned to the cable news channels in time to catch a sports recap. From football, the newscaster moved on to the upcoming winter Olympics in February 2010, Lauren’s least favorite subject, and one that wouldn’t aid her quest not to think about Jason Corwin.
She had picked up the remote to change the channel when she caught sight of the name below the photo on the screen. Rusty Small, Jason’s nemesis. The snowboarder who, along with a woman named Kristina, had set Jason up to test positive for banned substances.
Instead of channel surfing, Lauren raised the volume.