One he’d never ever forget.
WITH THE KING BOBBY threat neutralized, there was no longer any reason for Amber to remain in Stewart. Whether there was a reason for her to stay with Mike remained to be seen. Amber dressed slowly, prolonging the moment and imprinting every second of making love with her husband in her brain and deep in her heart, which already belonged exclusively to him.
She glanced over her shoulder to see him pulling on his jeans in silence. The only sound was the ticking of an old clock and their own heavy breathing.
She knew what she had to do. Amber had been brave once today. She looked at Mike, the long line of his back and his stiff shoulders, and knew she’d have to gather her courage one more time.
Because she wasn’t leaving him without putting it all on the line, without taking the ultimate gamble. She drew a deep breath. “Mike?”
He turned to face her.
“You already know I’m a gambler, right?”
He met her gaze, his expression confused. He was obviously unsure of her point. “Right.”
She stepped up to him and tipped her head back to meet his eyes, to put herself on some kind of even footing. “We met in Vegas and gambled on marriage and the slots, so I guess it’s only fitting I’m standing here now, gambling on you.”
“Amber…”
“No. Don’t interrupt and don’t panic. Just pretend you’re back in Vegas and willing to take a chance.” Her heart squeezed tight in her chest, but she pushed on. “You already know how great we are in bed. Or out of it.” She pointed to the floor where they’d made love and laughed.
He didn’t.
She knew then she didn’t have a prayer. But her father hadn’t raised a quitter. “It isn’t just that we started off strong sexually, though hey, that’s a bonus. And we also like the same TV shows.” She searched his face for a glimmer of emotion, but all she found was the wall she’d come back to in Boston.
“Look,” she continued anyway. “Somewhere between you rescuing me from Marshall the first time and now, we’ve discovered something good. Fun. Something that could be real and lasting if we gave it a chance.” She reached for him, but his stiff posture never changed. She let her hand fall uselessly to her side.
Her heart, which minutes before had been full of hope, seemed to be shriveling into a small ball of nothing. Pain shot through her, but she forced herself to go on.
“Mike, even if we can’t have anything lasting—” Her voice nearly cracked on the words. “Can you at least find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you in Vegas? Taking the money? Knowing me the way you do now, can we at least part as friends?”
The word nearly killed her. Friendship was the last thing she wanted from him, but it was better than the disgust he’d felt for the woman she’d once been.
He cleared his throat and the pain in his eyes matched the hurt inside her. “Amber, being with you has been—”
She raised her hand in the air, cutting him off, unable to bear hearing more. “Please don’t say anything else.”
“I have to. Because you need to kno
w that I do care about you.” His expression was tight and tortured, his eyes bleak and devastated.
Yet whatever pain she glimpsed inside him didn’t change the fact that he was obviously going to end things. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the curse. I won’t believe it.” She tried to laugh, but couldn’t.
“Of course not. That’s my father’s job. He’s the one who ran away from life.” Mike glanced away from her.
“And what are you doing, if not running away?” she accused, trying to pull him back.
He shook his head. “It’s not the same. You see how my father is. That’s how he’s been for as long as I can remember.” Mike paused and cleared his throat.
Amber caught the fullness in his voice and didn’t push him further. She had to let him tell her in his own time.
“I couldn’t live with the ups and downs he caused when I was a kid. I hated it. So my mother took me away, making sure I had stability. I need that stability.”
Amber swallowed hard. She’d understood his feelings about Edward, his fears about living with someone whose actions and moods he couldn’t count on from one minute to another. It was the way she’d felt living with her father after his diagnosis.
“I can give you that,” she said softly. “Maybe I haven’t so far, but once things are settled in my life, that’s exactly what I want, too.” She touched his face, turning him toward her. “I lived the same way once. I had a steady job I loved working for the Crown Chandler Hotels and I was great at what I did. I want you to see that part of me!”
“I want that, too, but it can’t work. We’re different, you and I. You said it yourself in Vegas. You need that thrill every once in a while and frankly, I don’t. The ups and downs you bring with you…they’re just not how I want to live.”