If the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, he refused to acknowledge it. If there were shadows in the brown depths, he refused to look deeper or ask why.
Now, he reminded himself. It was all they had.
Chapter Eight
Steam, mixed with the arousing scent of jasmine, filled the enclosed space in the bathroom. Grace didn’t need any additional aphrodisiac other than Ben to turn her on, but the seductive aroma and the liquid bath gel would heighten what had already been an extraordinary experience.
She wished it didn’t have to end. But when the earth-shattering climax had subsided, she’d opened her eyes, taken one look at the panic in Ben’s face, and known there was no future. Not for them. And though she didn’t know exactly why he feared intimacy and commitment, she was perceptive enough to take note of his anxiety and realize if she didn’t reassure him and accept now, she’d lose whatever time he was still willing to share.
Her lighthearted rhetoric letting him off the hook had been the most difficult words of her life. But they’d accomplished her goal; Ben was still by her side.
She planned on using her pathetic detective skills to uncover the source of his commitment phobia, but not quite yet. She had other treats in store first.
“All ready.” She walked to the partially open door and called out. Ben had offered to blow out the candles to prevent a fire hazard. Suspecting he needed a moment to regroup, she’d agreed.
By the time he joined her in the bathroom, she was standing beneath the pulsating spray, welcoming the hot water sluicing over her sensitized skin. Her shower curtain was see-through with silver stars but they didn’t obscure her vision. He entered looking more relaxed than he had minutes earlier. Of course, she planned to allay his concerns and soothe his tension even more.
His body was incredible to gaze upon, but she wanted to do much more than look. The play of muscle as he moved and the sexy air that was so much a part of him beckoned to her. And her fingers itched to work themselves up his hard calves, the muscular thighs, and bury themselves in the tangle of hair surrounding his erection, which seemed to grow on command beneath her heated stare. She would have swallowed but her mouth had grown dry.
Determined to keep things light and playful, she crooked a finger his way. “Water’s just right. Come on in.”
He swung back the shower curtain and stepped over the tub, coming up beside her. In his eyes, she saw passion and fire, a burning in his gaze that had indeed been shadowed by the curtain between them.
He reached out and spanned her waist with his full hands. He might not want possession or ownership, he might not even desire a relationship, but she felt his touch branding her as his own with an imprint that went deeper than her skin. One that couldn’t be washed away by the droplets of water pelting her flesh, and one that would last infinitely longer than he’d stay in her life.
“No matter how many times I tell myself to keep my hands off you, I can’t do it.” His desire-laden voice cut through to her heart.
No time like the present, Grace thought. “Tell me again why you think you should keep your distance.”
He laughed. “I don’t remember telling you the first time.”
She couldn’t contain a smile at his ability to catch her each time she attempted to put one over on him. “Then tell me now.”
“I can think of better things to do than talk.”
She couldn’t. She wanted answers and she wanted them now… until he dipped his head and began to lick at the droplets trickling down her neck and shoulders with long, delicious laps of his tongue. She shuddered at the unexpected assault, trembled as he worked his way lower, tasting the water on her chest, following the curve of her breast downward until his tongue lapped relentlessly at her rigid, sensitive nipple.
She felt the sensation of his touch on her breast, her throat and it spread to the spot between her legs, becoming a violent onslaught against all of her senses at one time. His hands cupped her waist tighter as if he knew she couldn’t remain standing without his help. But then she realized he had an ulterior motive because he replaced his tongue with his teeth, grazing at her nipple, pulling the rigid peak into his mouth, and suckling so hard her knees buckled.
He turned her around and sat her back against the tub so she was facing the pelting water that now reflected off his back. He knelt down along with her, nudging her knees apart and settling himself between her legs.
He cupped her tender breast in his hand and held her gently, almost reverently. “Are you always so responsive?”
Grace leaned her head back against the wall. She’d been with men, thought during those few times she’d been making love. She’d been wrong. She’d had sex.
She and Ben had made love.
Even now, with just foreplay, she was closer to him than she’d ever been to another man. He took her to sexual highs and encouraged her to explore her sensuality all without directly asking anything from her. Her responsiveness now was in direct correlation to the feelings and emotions tied up with this man.
She met his patient gaze. “Are you looking for an honest answer?”
That seemed to take him by surprise. “I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”
She forced a smile at the disparity between what he was asking and what he was willing to give. “I get it. I answer honestly, you avoid answering. Not a fair deal, if you ask me.”
He shook his head and water flung from the longer strands. “You’re a smart cookie. Okay, tell you what. You answer honestly now, and I’ll answer your other question later.”
She bit down on her lower lip and pondered his offer, knowing he was buying time and would probably find another excuse to stall later.