He muttered a curse. For as often as he’d contemplated his own feelings, he’d never factored in the possibility that Grace could fall in love with him. He’d been too absorbed by the impossibility of their situation and their extreme differences.
Differences that still existed.
His heart thundered loud in his chest and he realized that though he wanted a way out, finding one would hurt her badly. Love, caring—he felt them all for Grace, but would she forgive him for his deception? Would the woman seeking a life apart from the Montgomery family name understand that he’d kept one glaring truth from her—that he’d been hired by Emma Montgomery to keep tabs on her?
He shut the laptop and rose. One last look at the bed where he’d spent the best moments of his life and Ben let himself out the door. He didn’t want to be there when Grace came home because he needed time to think.
The truth, the one thing that could give them a future, could also tear them apart. But even if he wanted to come clean with Grace, professional ethics and his respect for Emma
demanded he speak to the older woman first before revealing both of their roles in the deception.
If Emma was angry, and she had every reason to be, she could demand he return the money he’d spent on the case—and Ben needed to factor his mother’s situation and his finances into the equation before making any rash, selfish decisions. If it was just Ben, he was prepared to refund every penny he’d made on this case, but he was responsible for his mother, too.
But, he realized, his mother would understand. He could take that one burden off his shoulders. Having experienced love, she wouldn’t deny her son the same thing, even if it meant delaying her move or sacrificing for him.
But Ben cared enough about his mother and Grace to find a way to make it work. He’d just find another way to pay for his mom’s care, to take on more cases, and be less discriminating about his clientele from now on. The chance to have Grace by his side was worth any sacrifice.
But there was the biggest risk of all—the one that scared him more than anything—and that risk was Grace. When disclosure was over, she could very well walk out on him anyway.
* * *
Grace raced out of the studio. She wasn’t sure why, but she had the strongest compulsion to get home—almost as if she feared Ben would be gone if she didn’t rush fast enough. So she ran, promising herself that as soon as she saw him, as soon as she got her hands on him, she’d use that one word most men feared. The word she feared would send him away for good.
But Grace was through hiding. Before meeting Ben, she knew she wanted out of her shell, out of the protection and false sense of security the Montgomery name and money offered. She’d shed all of those trappings, but not until she’d gotten involved with Ben did she discover the essence of the woman she was.
Grace Montgomery wasn’t impressed with status or money nor was she affected by appearances. She cared more for what existed in someone’s heart than in their wallet and found honesty more of a turn-on than pretense.
She found Ben so very attractive not because of his inherent sexiness, although she had to admit his appearance lured her in at first. But she gravitated toward Ben because he was the antithesis of everything she’d grown up with—because he was open and honest and real. Even when he was admitting his aversion to commitment, he was trusting her with the truth.
Before she let him go for good, she owed him the truth. She loved him and had every intention of telling him. Even if it drove him away forever.
She entered her apartment, surprised to find the door open. “Ben?” Though she’d left him her key to return Marcus’ supplies, she couldn’t imagine him being so careless as to leave her door unlocked. “Are you still here?”
“Still here? I just got here. It was the longest trip. Of course, if I still had my license, I’d have made it doing eighty-five, but your stick-in-the-mud father made sure I’ll never get behind the wheel again. Imagine sitting in the back of a limousine for three hours while the driver does sixty.”
“Gran?” Grace dropped her bag and ran for the living room.
“Who else has the key to your apartment?” Emma stood in the center of the room, arms open wide.
Grace met her halfway and found herself enveloped in her grandmother’s thin arms. Thank goodness they still had a great deal of strength, and as always, they made her feel both safe and loved. “First Logan and Cat, now you. What are you doing here?”
“Like I’d let another birthday pass without a visit.” Emma pushed Grace away and held her at arm’s length for inspection. “You’re beautiful. You could use a little meat on those bones, but you’re still my Gracie.”
A lump rose to her throat. It had been so long since her grandmother had resorted to her childhood name. Long enough that even Ben’s use of the endearment hadn’t evoked childhood memories, only adult yearning.
She took a moment to admire her grandmother in return. Although older with each visit, Emma was still regal and beautiful, her white hair pulled up in the same bun she’d always worn, and her designer suit was spotless and unwrinkled despite the long car ride to New York. “You look wonderful, Gran.”
“Of course, I do.” The older woman grinned. “And thank goodness you have my genes. But you’re avoiding the question, young lady. Who else has the key to your apartment?”
Grace took her grandmother’s weathered hand and led her to the couch. “We have a lot to talk about.” Suddenly, the months of silence became a burden and Grace wanted to unload on the only person who would understand and accept.
Emma wouldn’t judge because she’d raised Grace to be her own person and make her own choices. But the first time Emma met Ben, Emma would pump him for so much information he’d think he was facing an interrogation. Grace hoped she’d be able to either warn Ben or give her grandmother enough facts to forestall the inquisition.
“There’s a man,” Grace began and decided to hold nothing back. “And I love him.”
As if on cue, there was a knock on her door followed by the sound of the key in the lock. Ben. His timing was awful. She’d had no time to prime Emma or to warn him about what was to come. Add to that Emma’s visit would prevent Grace from laying out her feelings to Ben.
Yet she couldn’t regret the spontaneous visit. She’d missed her grandmother as much as she’d missed her brother. Sitting for hours on end couldn’t be easy for Emma, not at her age, yet she’d made the trip anyway.