She eyed him warily, obviously still uncertain how to act around him now.
He had no answers for her or for himself. All he knew was that she provided an anchor in his turbulent life and he'd missed her desperately in the time they'd been apart. He was grateful to be with her again and though he hated the circumstances that had brought them together, he had no choice but to accept them and begin to cope.
"So when do I get to hear why you needed me tonight?" she asked. "What's the PR problem?"
He knew he couldn't play innocent or dumb so he opted for the truth. "My family." He leaned back in the seat and shut his eyes, exhaustion overtaking him.
"Are you for real?" She blew out a puff of air in frustration. "I don't hear from you for two weeks and then when I do, you've got a paternity scandal hanging over your head. I agreed to help you out, but since
when did that include explaining your actions to your family?" she asked, obviously appalled he'd brought her along for this trip.
Well, hell. "They're going to grill me mercilessly."
She arched an eyebrow. Her expression lacked any sympathy at all. "So? You deserve it. But personal issues don't fall under my job description."
He reached out and grabbed her hand. Her skin felt soft and smooth, like the skin on her belly and the flesh on her thighs, he recalled, his body growing hot and hard with the memory. So aroused that focusing on explanations was difficult.
He understood her anger but couldn't find the words to explain that in the mayhem since Carole dropped the bomb, Micki was the only person he felt comfortable with. He didn't understand the connection that drew him to her either, but the fact remained that he needed her, more than just on a professional level. For the first time in his life, he was looking to a woman for emotional support.
He ran a hand over his face. "I'm a freaking mess," he admitted, meeting her gaze. "My wrist hurts every time I pick up or hit the ball. It doesn't matter how well I'm playing, I've got to live with the fact that it's taking everything out of me just to get through every game. Then I've got Carole who I can't even begin to believe, but I can't afford not to."
"Go on," she said, softly.
He swallowed but his mouth tasted like pitcher's mound dirt. "If the kid is mine, what the hell kind of father will I make?" he asked, voicing his fears aloud for the first time.
To Micki. Which proved to him that keeping her by his side was necessary to his sanity.
She covered his hand with hers. "If it comes to that, you'll make the best kind of dad."
"When you say it, I can almost believe it," he said, forcing a laugh.
"You should." Light danced in her eyes for the first time all evening. "Didn't you say your father was amazing? We learn by example, so what makes you think you'll be any different?"
He turned her hand over and looked at the fragile skin on her wrist."You're amazing," he said, gratitude and something warm he didn't want to examine too closely filling his chest.
Without warning, she jerked her hand back. "I'm just stating the facts," she said, putting distance between them once more.
He didn't have to guess why. He was a man with baggage and risks, and as much as he wanted to bury himself inside her and forget his problems, that would only add one more complication to an already screwed-up mess.
“There's something I want you to consider," Micki said.
"What's that?"
She twisted her hands together, a sure sign he wouldn't like her request. "I grew up orphaned."
He nodded. "I know."
"And I believe that in the best of all possible worlds, a baby should have both parents around. If the baby is yours, you need to consider marrying Carole and giving the child a real family."
Her voice broke on the word family. So did his heart. In all his thinking, he'd forgotten that Micki had been raised by her bachelor uncle. She'd missed out on parents in her life and obviously she still felt that loss.
Damian breathed deeply and leaned forward in his seat. "I understand where you're coming from but you need to understand that this isn't all about me not wanting to marry Carole. It's about the baby, too. Sometimes you can do a child a bigger favor by not raising it in a home where there is no love or caring."
She spread her hands wide. "I don't know."
"Growing up, didn't you have everything you needed in your untraditional home with your uncle, Lola and your sisters?"
She nodded.