Dr. Kernan slapped Carter on the back. "I know you're excited but why don't we ask the mother whether she wants to know the sex?”
Carole was still focusing on taking deep breaths and trying mentally to get herself and her life in order. She was going to be the mother of Carter's child, and she was going to be a mother who set a fine example for her…
"What is it?" she asked the doctor.
"You're having a girl. Congratulations."
A broad grin spread across Carter's face as De. Kernan shook first his hand, then Carole's.
"You folks have been through a lot. I'd urge you to get some old-fashioned family counseling for the baby's sake if not your own. I can recommend some names if you'd like. Think about it and get back to me." He placed his pen into the pocket of his white coat. "In the meantime, good luck. I suggest you contact an OB of your choice and begin regular appointments if you haven't already," he said, his gaze focused on hers.
"Thank you," she murmured, embarrassed at how she'd been behaving, mortified at insisting Damian was the father when she knew he might not be.
The doctor nodded and walked toward the door. "Feel free to use my office for a bit if you need to," he said and strode out, leaving Carole and Carter alone.
"I always thought I'd have a boy," Carter said, still in shock at all of Dr. Kernan's revelations. His kid. His baby girl.
"Are you disappointed?"
For the first time, Carter heard uncertainty in Carole's voice and fear underlying her words. "Not disappointed. Surprised. Excited. Anxious, too," he admitted.
"Yeah. Well I think we both are." She paused and glanced down. "It wasn't that I didn't want you to be the father."
"Yeah it was." But to his surprise, he wasn't bitter. "In an odd way I get it. Fuller has money and prestige and with him you wouldn't have to worry about anything:'
She swallowed hard. "I was stupid. Up until the last second, I was an idiot. First of all, you should know that my job is a good one with decent benefits. We'll be okay."
"Babe, I have enough faith in myself for both of us. I'll go through arbitration and make good money. My stats this year have been phenomenal. My agent's sure things'll go well. By the time I'm up for free agency-"
She rose to her feet. "I can't count on you to support us. Baseball's uncertain. Look at Damian. He hasn't played in weeks. You can't know what's going to happen."
Carter knew her past and fear of living on welfare were behind her words, not a deliberate desire to hurt him. "I've learned that life doesn't come with guarantees. But I can promise to try and do my best by you both. And I will."
A tear dripped down her cheek. "You've become a really good guy. You deserve so much better than me."
"I'm the same guy who called the press about your pregnancy, remember? Don't go painting me with some angelic brush, okay? We're alike. We'll be fine."
"This baby could have been Damian's " she reminded him and turned away, obviously not wanting to face him.
He grabbed her arm gently and turned her around. "That was the past. We're looking to the future now. And I love you."
She shook her head. "You're the dad, Carter. Let's not push our luck and try to make ourselves into some big love story, okay? Neither one of us has done anything to deserve a happily-ever-after."
Rick cupped her cheek in his hand. "That's where you're wrong. We created this baby. That's the beginning of a new life. Hers…and ours."
But even as he spoke, Carter knew Carole was far from believing in him, in them or in their future.
NOT HIS KID. What had been the sole focus of Damian's life for weeks now suddenly had nothing to do with him. Damian wasn't sure how long he spent on the streets of Manhattan, dazed and confused by the news. Considering how fortunate he'd been in life up until now, he sure as hell hadn't expected to be sitting under a horseshoe when the test results had come in. He'd gotten lucky.
So why didn't he one hundred percent feel that way? Instead of the pure elation he should have been experiencing, Damian felt empty, almost as if a void existed where fear had once lived and breathed. Damned if he understood his reaction and he walked miles to sort through his emotions.
He glanced up at the familiar face of the building he stood in front of. Somehow during his walking and reflecting, he found himself outside the Hot Zone offices. Micki had been ducking his calls since before the charity event and he'd deliberately given her space after. He hoped with the baby mess behind him, they could go back to being…what? Friends? Lovers? Damian shook his head. Like everything else right now, he figured the answers would come.
A glance at his watch told him Micki would be at work and he headed inside to share the news. He bypassed the receptionist and headed to her office, stopping at her secretary's desk.
"How's it going?" he asked the woman who'd come to know him pretty well from his visits.
"See for yourself." She gestured toward the partially open door.