More like attention seekers, Roper knew.
First, Amy introduced Roper to her family and they shook his hand, but they were too impatient to tell their story to spend time on pleasantries.
“So we were talking about how what happened with my luggage reminded us of the movie Meet the Parents,” Amy’s mother, Rose, said.
“And I said it wasn’t Meet the Parents, it was the second one, Meet the Fockers,” Darla said.
“It was Meet the Parents and the stewardess—”
“They’re called flight attendants now,” Darla interrupted her sister.
Rose ro
lled her eyes. “The flight attendant had taken my carry-on and gave it to the handlers to put it in the cargo area. I forgot, and when the plane landed in New York, I opened the top compartment to take out my luggage and Darla reminded me that my bag wasn’t there. So I said, I thought it was stupid. I could so have fit it on top.”
“But the flight attendant wouldn’t even let her try,” Darla said. “So we were reminded of Meet the Fockers.”
“Meet the Parents,” Rose interrupted. “And I said, in a complete and perfect impersonation of Ben Stiller, It’s not like there’s a bomb in it.”
Darla and Rose both spoke with animation, hands waving in the air. “Then some woman obviously misunderstood us and yelled, ‘that old lady said she has a bomb.’ Do I look old to you?” Rose asked Amy.
“No, Mom,” Amy said through gritted teeth. “Go on with the story.”
Roper held back his laughter because he could see how obviously stressed Amy was. But the women, with their bright red lipstick, overdyed hair and deep circles of rouge on their cheeks, looked more like Kewpie dolls than terrorists. And Roper thought the way they each argued their point was hilarious.
“Of course we don’t look old to you,” Rose said, ignoring Amy’s request. “You see us all the time.” Rose then took Roper off guard by walking up to him. “You’re a young, handsome man. Do I look old to you?” She nudged him with her elbow and batted her thick eyelashes.
“No, ma’am,” he said, holding back a chuckle. “You’re beautiful.”
Amy shot him a warning look that clearly said don’t humor them. He couldn’t help it, they were so cute.
“Why, thank you,” Rose said. “You see, Darla?”
“What about me? Do I look old?” Darla asked him, pushing her sister out of the way.
Roper grinned. “You’re absolutely breathtaking, too,” he told her.
Pleased, both women relaxed and smiled. “So anyway,” Rose continued, “someone yells, ‘The old lady has a bomb!’ And all hell broke loose. That man who brought you in here had been sitting in front of us and he turned around and practically dove over the seat. The rest of the passengers went into utter panic.”
“There was nearly a stampede thanks to that crazy woman,” Darla said, nodding.
Amy raised an eyebrow. “You think she was the crazy woman?” she asked.
Both relatives ignored her. “Next thing you know, they evacuate the plane and corral everyone into one area, except for us. They brought us in here. Apparently they had to check all the carry-on bags underneath the plane to make sure they didn’t miss something in security the first time around. They thought we were planning to blow up the airport!”
“They can’t be too careful these days,” Roper said seriously.
Rose and Darla nodded. “We understand. If only that woman hadn’t made a scene, nobody would have been detained.”
“And you don’t think you had anything to do with that little scene?” Amy perched her hands on her hips and confronted her family.
Roper thought they blushed, though it was hard to tell beneath the heavy rouge.
“It was a misunderstanding,” Darla said. “Not that your uncle Spencer thought so. He was furious, but he promised us you’d be here to handle things.”
“Of course she’s here. My beautiful, smart girl always rescues us,” Rose said, pulling Amy into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”
Amy hugged her mother back. “I missed you, too.” She turned to her aunt. “You, too,” she said, wrapping her arms around the other woman, as well.