He’d never shared his feelings about Lizzie with anyone in his life, but he wasn’t surprised he now wanted Sophie to be the first. The notion that he was seeking her understanding, or worse, her approval, was a threat to his style of doing things his own way in his own time.
“There’s a reason I don’t like to do what others expect.” He paused and she remained silent, giving him whatever time he needed to gather his thoughts. “I spent the better part of my life, my youth, trying to get Spencer to notice me.”
Unable to si
t still, and finding it even more difficult to look into Sophie’s solemn eyes, he rose and paced the carpeted room. “By the time I won the Heisman and was represented by Yank, with no word from my father, I decided I was no longer going to please anyone but myself.”
Sophie swallowed over the lump in her throat. Imagining Riley as a little boy seeking his father’s elusive approval broke her heart. That it was Spencer, a man who’d given her love and understanding, hurt even more. Guilt pierced through her, making her feel as if she’d stolen something precious from him. Something he’d never get back.
“When Lizzie was born, I held this little bundle in my arms. She was smaller, and a hell of a lot more delicate, than a football.” He grinned, but in his face she saw love and emotion, something so deep it took her breath away.
She started to reach for him then changed her mind. What he felt for his daughter had nothing to do with her and she had no right to intrude on it. “Go on,” she said softly.
“Right then, I promised myself—and I promised her—she’d never wonder if her father loved her. She’d never look around and question why her father wasn’t a part of her life. And she’d never ever resent me.” He set his jaw tight.
Sophie glanced down, knowing she had to phrase this exactly right. “Just be her father.”
“It’s not that simple. I’m not there when she goes to sleep at night or when she wakes up in the morning.”
“So you want to give her what she wants to make up for it.”
He shrugged. “That’s my job as her father.”
“Your job is to make sure she grows up safe and sound and loved. The best way to do that is to set rules—”
“To hell with that,” he muttered, rising from the bed. “Control and rules are your thing, not mine. But because of everything you’ve seen down here, I thought you’d understand my relationship with my daughter. Apparently I was wrong,” he said in a suddenly frosty voice.
She blinked, startled by his change in tone. “Of course I understand.” But that didn’t mean she totally agreed.
Because Sophie and her sisters had been raised by their bachelor uncle, she’d always worried about him getting it right. To his credit—and in no small part thanks to Lola—he had. Partially because they’d known the importance of rules and discipline.
Sophie had taken it upon herself to learn from her uncle’s way of parenting. Maybe Riley could do the same. “This isn’t about my rules. It’s about children and what they need, and what it means to be a parent.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And you’d know this because you are one?”
“Whoa.” She stood and squared her shoulders. “Where’s the hostility coming from?”
He faced her, the arrogant athlete she’d always seen him as in the past. She couldn’t be more disappointed. Or more hurt. Her throat swelled painfully as she realized she’d let him into her heart only to have him trample on it at the first sign of their differences.
“It isn’t hostility, it’s fact,” he said, oblivious to her feelings. “You’ll never understand where I’m coming from. You’re a stickler for rules and I’m not. No way am I going to inflict that kind of control on my daughter.”
He was talking about Lizzie but he was condemning Sophie, too, and with each word his emotional walls rose higher. He wanted to block her out and he’d succeeded. She couldn’t find the words for a cutting comeback nor did she want to try. Riley had been scarred by his childhood and was so obviously overcompensating with his daughter, it was downright scary.
“I’m in her life and she’s going to grow up appreciating that fact, not resenting me or wishing I was gone.”
Sophie looked into his cold eyes. “So you’ll buy her instead. Well, good for you. Maybe one day you’ll grow up and realize she’s better off with a real parent rather than an overindulgent one with poor judgment.”
He scowled and started for the door. “I’m going to pack,” he muttered, and walked out without looking back.
South Street Seaport at night. Sophie shivered and hoped Riley wasn’t seriously considering letting his thirteen-year-old daughter go there. Then again, he had one valid point. Now that he’d decided she didn’t understand him, it wasn’t any of her business.
Unfortunately, there was no telling herself she didn’t care. Sophie headed for the shower he’d just vacated and inhaled the scent of soap he’d left behind. Her heart pounded in her chest, disappointment in both Riley and how their relationship had turned out filling her.
She’d been stupid enough to invest more than her body in this short relationship even though she’d known from the beginning how it would end. Too bad she hadn’t trusted her instincts and steered clear.
Because although she’d expected a parting of ways when they returned home, she hadn’t expected him to turn on her before they even left South Florida.
CINDY REPLAYED the voice mail telling her Sophie would be home later today. Hallelujah. She loved being a publicist, dealing with people and nabbing PR coups, but she hated running the place on her own. Though Spencer had returned, he was too busy handling damage control with his own clients to worry about the mundane things like bill keeping and doling out new assignments to the other publicists. She appreciated Sophie’s faith in her, but she was more than ready to return to the role of employee.