“Seen by whom?” Brianne asked. But as she spoke, she began to question more than Ramirez’s hidden agenda. She began to question Jake’s.
He was certain of too much to be coming into this situation fresh. Since awakening this morning, emotion and confusion had been her constant companions—her stomach rolled, her head ached. And she had a hunch things weren’t about to change anytime soon.
He inhaled deeply. “That’s where things get complicated.” He ran a hand through his hair and stood, then began pacing the floor in front of the couch. “Back when you mentioned you thought you were being followed, I got suspicious.”
“But you didn’t let on. In fact, you lied.” The hurt and the anger she’d been holding back rose to the surface.
“Yes. No.” He shook his head in frustration. “I protected you. You’d just gotten through telling me you had a well-founded history of anxiety. You equated me to your parents and admitted that when I entered your life, history of danger and all, I’d probably caused all those fears to resurface. I couldn’t bring myself to validate your feelings and upset you, or somehow set you off again.”
“It’s not like I’m some mental patient that needed sheltering! I asked for your professional advice. I didn’t ask you to cushion me from the truth.” She rose. “I thought I was being followed. I may not have liked it, but I could have dealt with it. I’ve dealt with a hell of a lot worse.”
“That’s bull.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and met her gaze. “You’ve dealt with tragedy and come through stronger than you were before. But unless you’ve dealt with a psychotic like Ramirez, one who’d kill you as easily as he’d blink, you haven’t dealt with worse. Not even close.”
At his words, she jerked back, the truth striking her in the heart.
“I’m sorry to scare you, but I’m not sorry for laying out the facts.”
“A little late, but you’re right.” She straightened her shoulders and found the inner strength she knew she possessed. “I haven’t been through worse. This ‘psychotic’ has been following me. Didn’t I deserve the chance to protect myself?” She pinned him with her glare. She wasn’t about to let him off the hook for keeping such a serious secret from her.
He cleared his throat. “I made sure you were protected.”
“Not very well if those flowers got through,” she muttered.
“Hospital flowers are delivered all the time.” He held his hands up in front of him in supplication. “But I’m not here to argue with you, okay?”
But she’d obviously hurt him, because a flash of pain crossed his handsome face. Still, she couldn’t afford to feel sorry for him, not when she had a cop killer sending her flowers and calling her at work. A chill rippled along her spine. “Protected me how? And don’t leave anything out.”
“There wouldn’t be any point to that now.”
“But I don’t know that for sure, do I? I don’t see why you held out on me to begin with.” She folded her arms across her chest, more to prevent the shaking than as a defense mechanism.
“I’ve had a detective following you,” he told her. “And when he wasn’t with you, I was.”
His words shouldn’t have shocked her but they did. She braced her folded hands lower, around her stomach, a way of offering herself comfort, although she found none. A small part of her wondered if Jake’s recent interest had more to do with keeping her in his apartment than keeping her in his bed.
He’d been deep inside her body, and they’d made love many times, and so her heart rebelled against the idea. Her mind insisted he’d been drawn to her long before she’d moved into the penthouse and before she’d become a target. But her wounded pride and sense of betrayal still made her question his motives. She didn’t want to believe he’d lie, not even in the name of protection.
And she didn’t want him to see her as weak. “Okay, so now what, Detective?”
This time he flinched at her formal tone. “This isn’t official business for me, Brianne.”
“No, you’re on leave. But you just can’t seem to stay away from the danger. And this time your need for that adrenaline rush brought that danger right to my doorstep.”
“Our doorstep, or have you forgotten you moved in with me?” he asked through clenched teeth.
He was right. She was blaming him for things that were out of his control. She let out a slow breath. “Okay, so how close are the police to wrapping things up and getting this guy behind bars? Before he gets me, I mean.”
Once again he avoided her eyes. “Not very,” he admitted, and went on to explain the case as it related to the drug overdose patient in Emergency, including The Eclectic Eatery’s probable connection and Jake’s inability to score drugs there. “But we haven’t been able to link the overdose to the restaurant or Ramirez.”
“Great. So I’m a walking target.” The shaking returned along with the unsteady intakes of air until she felt light-headed and dizzy.
He must have sensed her distress because he placed a hand on her arm, but she shrugged off his touch and lowered herself onto the couch. During the course of her personal anxiety therapy, she’d learned intensive breathing that enabled her to create a calm, safe center deep within herself. She ignored Jake and concentrated on steady breathing until the room stopped spinning and she could focus once more.
She opened her eyes to find him staring at her, his blue eyes deep with concern. “Nothing’s going to happen to you as long as I’m around. And I’m not leaving your side.”
“Just what I wanted, a bodyguard,” she said wryly. Especially one who’d slept with her so he would know where she was at night, Brianne thought.
He moved to her side. His masculine scent was overpowering, seducing her with memories of last night. “You know I don’t find guarding your body a hardship.”