Well, she thought, silence could go both ways. She’d gone out of her way to be understanding of his past, his need for emotional distance, and the fact that his desire to travel would take him away one day. But his behavior toward her was a direct slap and Rina didn’t feel the need to roll over and take it lying down.
Ironically, Colin himself had provided her with her new plan and she had taken today off to update her résumé and e-mail her job queries to magazine editors in New York. Thanks to the Internet, she had instant gratification by pushing the send button. Now all she needed to do was wait for replies. As much as she loved it here in Ashford, Colin was right. The opportunities were in New York.
She was going home.
“Hello?” Frankie’s voice was followed by a belated knock on the door as she let herself in. “Did you survive Christmas?” she asked. “I saw your car downstairs and figured you called in sick in favor of sleeping in.”
“So you thought you’d wake me up instead?” Rina asked wryly.
“Ha-ha.” Frankie sat down on the living-room couch, eyeing Rina’s laptop. “Are you working from home?” she asked, concerned.
“No. I’m looking for new employment.” She shut down the computer and turned toward Frankie. “In fact, you’ll probably have a new neighbor soon.” At the notion, Rina’s stomach twisted with pain and regret.
She didn’t want to leave her home here or the friends she’d made. But now that she’d found herself and her calling, she couldn’t give up writing and there weren’t any other opportunities in the town of Ashford.
“Whoa.” Frankie shook her head. “New neighbor? Not a chance. That’s like asking me to find a new best friend. Besides, you love it here. So back up and ’splain, Lucy.”
Rina rolled her eyes. “You’ve been watching I Love Lucy reruns again, haven’t you?”
Frankie shrugged. “What can I say? It’s better than sleeping. Now quit avoiding the issue and take things from the beginning. Why do you need a new job?”
Rina bunched her hands into fists and explained the paper’s financial situation and Colin’s means of fixing the problem. “So you see, the columnists are out, hard news is in. So I am trying to find a job in Manhattan, where the major national women’s magazines are located. My résumé isn’t extensive, but this series of five articles is nearly finished and they make for a pretty impressive résumé, if I do say so myself.”
She could fill her résumé with the articles she’d written for her “Hot Stuff” column. She still hoped the paper would run the end of the Simply Sexy series, but if not, she’d survive. At least she had an attractive package to show prospective employers.
“Earth to Rina.” Frankie waved her hand in front of Rina’s eyes. “I asked if you were really just running away from your problems with Colin.”
Rina scowled. “I’m made of stronger stuff than that. I’m not running, I’m being smart. There’s nothing left for me here, so I’m moving on.” But the tight squeeze around her heart made her realize she was lying. There was plenty she wanted here, but she had no way of making those kinds of dreams come true.
“What about Colin?” Frankie asked.
Rina glanced down at her feet before meeting Frankie’s gaze. “What about him?”
This time it was Frankie’s turn to scowl. “Don’t play dumb. It doesn’t become you.”
Rina let out a groan of frustration and stomped her foot for good measure. She felt a stab of pain in her heel. “Damn.”
Frankie put a hand on Rina’s shoulder, and at the comforting touch, Rina’s eyes filled with tears. The first ones she’d let herself shed. “The man didn’t think twice about lying to me, so what’s left for me to hang on to now?”
As she spoke, she wanted to believe that the goodness she sensed in Colin wasn’t false, that he had regrets despite his agenda. But she didn’t know, nor could it make any difference. They’d had an affair, by definition a short-term arrangement. She’d always assumed he’d leave, and now she was going back to New York.
“You can hang on to me, Emma, the friends you made down at the paper, to start with. And I bet Colin would be there, too, if you’d let him.”
That was the problem, Rina thought. To listen to him, to hear his side, to let him be there for her, assuming he even wanted to, would leave her vulnerable. No matter how much she loved him, and there was no denying she still did, she didn’t think she could open herself up to that kind of hurt again.
She’d lost her husband and now she’d lost Colin. She’d just now found herself. She couldn’t put that on the line. Especially since his departure was imminent if not guaranteed.
COLIN SAT AT HIS DESK, tapping a pencil against the old blotter. He’d never known a woman could make herself so busy she didn’t have time for one conversation. Monday, Rina had called in sick. Tuesd
ay, she’d come in, worked on her column, wearing a headset, no less. When he’d approached her at lunchtime, she’d said she had a meeting and ran out, probably knowing full well he’d be at the hospital all afternoon. Tuesday evening, she hadn’t answered her phone or her doorbell, and by Wednesday morning, he was irritable.
He’d pick her up and carry her over his shoulder and into the back hall if he had to. Today he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
Someone tapping on his shoulder startled him and he whipped around, annoyed. “What the hell do you want?” he snapped.
“A minute of your time, if it isn’t too much to ask.” Rina stood before him, one hand on her hip, acting as distant as his latest assignment in South America.
Now she wanted to talk? “What can I do for you?” he asked, trying to keep things professional in front of the staff, despite his earlier thoughts of acting like an irrational caveman.