“Are you finished?” he asked when she’d stopped rambling.
“Yes.”
He held up the paper and ripped it in half. “Don’t want it, don’t need it. But I do want to know what the hell would possess you to quit a job you obviously love so much?”
“All good things must come to an end. And you said yourself, the paper’s in financial trouble and getting rid of the newer columnists is the solution.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I also remember saying I hoped to save both your job and Emma’s.”
“Hope isn’t definite. And you need to concentrate on what’s best for the paper, not what’s best for me.”
“But you believe I want to save your job?”
&nb
sp; One side of her mouth lifted. He’d take the first half smile in over a week as a positive sign.
“Yeah, I do,” she said at last.
“And if I said I had saved your column, that you still had a job, would you stay?”
“Is that a hypothetical question? Because I don’t think I can play games anymore.”
For the first time he noticed the stress in her taut expression and the darker circles under her eyes. Well, at least she wasn’t getting any more sleep than he was. Reaching out, he grasped her hand. “I’m not looking to play games, either. It’s an honest question.”
She glanced down at their intertwined hands, his darker skin, her softer, whiter flesh. “I’m staying whether or not there’s a place for me at the Times,” she admitted. “Ashford is home now.”
He released a harsh breath. Now that, he hadn’t expected to hear. “Rina?”
She glanced up to meet his gaze.
“I’m glad.”
She blinked, moisture filling her eyes. “You are? Why? Will you stay long enough for it to matter?”
“I told you the other day, I’m not going anywhere. My family is here, my new job is here, and most importantly, you’re here.”
“Your family’s always been here.”
He laughed. “Leave it to you to point out the obvious. Yes, my family’s always been here, but my heart hasn’t been.”
She searched his expression, obviously looking deeper inside him. “And now it is?”
He paused, wondering how to explain something he’d only just come to terms with himself. “I needed to face my past in order to have a future. Or at least a stable one, anyway. I’ve done that now.” He squeezed her hand tighter. “Thanks to you. From the day I met you, I recognized you were special. That you had the ability to change me.”
Rina’s heart felt full. She didn’t know whether to laugh because she seemed on the verge of getting everything she wanted, or cry because she was so afraid he was saying the words he wanted to believe but wasn’t ready to act on. She was still afraid she’d lose him to his emotional fear.
Then again, there was the real possibility it was still her fear she was dealing with, not his. Knowing she had one chance left with Colin, she listened with an open mind, and she hoped with an open heart. “Change you how?” she asked.
“For the better, of course.” He winked, then sobered quickly, looking at her with those intense blue eyes she adored. “I never let Joe and Nell inside.” He tapped his chest. “I couldn’t because I feared it would mean being disloyal to my parents and losing them forever.”
He shook his head. “Of course, they were already gone, but I didn’t want to face that. So I ran. First into a marriage that was doomed from the start because we were so different, and then abroad. But now I’ve come home and faced the fact that I almost lost Joe. So I’m through running. I’ve got too much going for me here.”
Rina tipped her head to one side. “Am I included in all that?”
“As long as you’ve stopped running, too.” He gestured to the torn resignation pages that had dropped to the floor. “That was my doing. But you’re the one who has to have the courage to stick around. I know you said you’re staying, but…”
“Are you calling me a coward?” Rina tried to play things light but the situation was too serious. Too much was at stake, and her joking words fell flat.