Going in Deep (Billionaire Bad Boys 4)

“And what did he find?” Julian asked.

“He said a drug addict and ex-con has been coming by your apartment all weekend. And the fact that you’re hanging around and exposed to that kind of person when you have an addiction makes you bad for me.”

“And destined to use again, is that it?” Fury spun through his veins. “He has no idea how hard I worked to get clean. How determined I am to stay that way.”

“It’s Billy, isn’t it, who’s been coming around?” Kendall asked.

“Yeah.”

“I thought he was pretty clear that he didn’t want to be a brother to Alex?”

He blew out a long breath. “I’m sure Kade would be thrilled to know Billy came by to ask his eighteen-year-old sister to get people at school to come to him for drugs. Isn’t that fucking great?”

“Are you kidding me? That poor kid!” Kendall shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself tight.

“She was beside herself. I managed to calm Alex down and get ahold of Billy’s parole officer. I hope the bastard gets himself arrested. He hasn’t been around since she turned him down. It just took him awhile to catch her at home, so he kept coming over, and that’s what Kade’s investigator saw.”

She inclined her head in understanding. “I knew there was an explanation,” she murmured.

He blinked in surprise. “You believed in me?”

“Of course I did!”

Sweet relief coursed through him even as he comprehended the truth. “But that doesn’t matter.” Not to Kade. Not to her sister, the people who mattered most in her life.

She narrowed her gaze. “Why not? I’m telling you that I believe in you. I’m here, aren’t I? If this is because I took some time away from you, I’m sorry but—”

“It’s not about that.”

He stepped forward, took her hand, knowing that what he was about to do next would hurt her as much as it would devastate him. He just didn’t see any way around it.

“Then what is it about? Why doesn’t me believing in you matter?”

“It matters to me, more than you can possibly know.” Nobody had had faith in him for most of his life, except his sister.

Kendall’s belief meant everything. She meant everything to him, and because of that, he’d take care of her the only way he knew how. Even if it meant destroying a part of himself in the process.

“It’s about your sister and Kade—and your relationship with them.” He ran his thumbs over the tops of her hands, the touch so important to him. It would probably be his last. “You explained it to me. How much you need them in your life, and believe me when I tell you, I get it. I’d feel the same way if the situation were reversed and it was my sister. But I also now get there is no pleasing them or earning back trust.”

She opened and closed her mouth before speaking. “You don’t know that for sure. Given time—”

He shook his head. “I know it. Kade proved it. A PI?”

For Julian it was the last straw.

He’d apologized and he was a different person, but he still had his pride, and Julian sure as fuck wouldn’t grovel to Kade. Not that it would matter if he did. Kade would make it his mission to break up him and Kendall and destroy all the good things between them. He’d rather she have some positive memories of him than all shitty ones after Kade got through pitting them against each other and destroying what they shared.

He glanced down at their entwined hands. “I know what your sister, your twin, means to you. I won’t come between you, and I won’t make you choose.”

No decent human being would do that to her. Julian might not be perfect, but he wouldn’t hurt her that way. Better for him to break it off now and let her return to the life, the family she needed.

She blinked, her eyes watery, as comprehension dawned. “Just so I’m not making assumptions, you need to spell out exactly what you are saying.”

“I love you, Kendall, but this can’t work. Us.” He stepped back, putting distance between them because if he didn’t, he’d pull her into his arms and never let her go. “We can’t work,” he said, tearing out his own heart in the process.

Her eyes opened wide. “You tell me you love me while you’re breaking up with me?” Her voice rose, almost shattering his resolve to do what was best for her.

“I have to.” If an apology wasn’t good enough for Kade, if Kendall’s word wasn’t enough of a damned referral, if he was going to continue to look for things to nail Julian with, then he was out of options.