“Are you up to telling me what happened?”
She wasn’t ready to tell him about the baby. Not until this mess with Keith was out and behind them. “Bernardi walked up to me on the street, grabbed my arm, and said I was coming with him. That the cops in the Caymans got a decoy he sent instead of going himself because he suspected a trap. I started walking with him, but the minute I saw the car, all the TV talk shows I’ve seen telling you not to get into a vehicle and go to a second location with a kidnapper came back to me. I knew I’d risk anything to stay where I was.”
“Smart girl,” he murmured.
She shrugged, trying not to remember the abject fear and just relay the story. “I let myself go limp and fell to the ground, lying down flat. He was so angry. He tried to yank me up, and when I wouldn’t go, he slapped me. That’s when my head hit the concrete.”
A low growl escaped Lucas’ throat. “Are you okay?”
“They’re watching me for a concussion.”
He pulled in a deep breath. “What happened next?”
“Next thing I knew, someone tackled him, throwing him off me. His gun fell near me, I grabbe
d it…”
His entire body trembled. “Jesus. And I thought there was nothing worse than getting the phone call from Gold telling me they’d gotten the wrong guy. I tried to reach you. I kept dialing. Eventually I called Nick, who said you were at a doctor’s appointment,” Lucas said, his gaze narrowing, as if that piece of information had been lost in his panic and he was just now remembering it.
Her face flushed with heat. “Right. About that…”
He pushed himself onto the edge of the bed, scooting in beside her. “You don’t have to report your every move to me, but—”
She drew a deep breath. “It’s all tied to how I’ve been acting lately.”
She drew nervous circles on the hospital blanket. “It turns out I’m pregnant.” She paused to let that piece of information sink in.
He blinked. “Pregnant.”
“Yep.”
“As in having a baby. My baby.”
She caught herself before nodding. “Yes. And I didn’t handle the news well at all. After everything I went through last time, I panicked. I couldn’t imagine living every day of the next nine months wondering when something was going to go wrong. I was petrified of losing the baby, of the pain, the depression, the hurt, the loss.” Tears were flowing freely now.
He brushed them away with his thumb, looking dazed himself. “Are you telling me you were at the doctor to… end the pregnancy?” he asked, the words sounding torn from his throat.
“No! No. I never once considered that possibility.”
The tension eased from his face, and his entire body fell lax in relief.
“It’s odd, actually. I never considered anything. It’s like I went numb to everything around me. I could only focus on what I couldn’t handle, and I felt like I was slipping back into the black hole that consumed me in those early days.”
“So where were you today?”
She realized he hadn’t yet expressed his feelings about the baby, but this wasn’t a normal set of circumstances, and she needed to give him time. Time to understand her and the hurt she’d inflicted these last weeks.
“I was at the doctor confirming the pregnancy.”
“You went alone?” Hurt flickered in his gaze and her heart cracked open.
How could she have done this to him? He’d been nothing but giving, kind, and loving. Willing to open himself and his heart to her, and she’d kept him in the dark.
There was nothing she could say to make it better.
She could only tell him her truth and hope he would forgive. “The minute I sat down in the room, undressed in that gown, and waited for the doctor, I knew I’d made a huge mistake. I wanted you there as much as I realized I wanted the baby.”
He remained silent, so she continued.