Dare to Rock (Dare to Love 5)

She shrugged. “That’s when the head of the Children’s Committee can meet. I have an idea I need him to approve.”

He drank the last of his caffeine fix and put the mug in the sink. “What’s your idea?”

She blushed but explained, “I want to throw a prom for the teenagers in treatment.”

He blinked, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think these kids have enough to look forward to. There’s a lot they miss out on. I saw the idea on the news. Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in New York ran the event last year. I have the connections to make it happen here. I want to bring in a makeup team, a hair team, wigs if necessary for those cancer patients who lost their hair.” Her hands flew with expressiveness as she continued. “With Ella’s help, because she works with designers, I can get dresses donated, and these kids can go to their own prom. I don’t care how old they are, imagine how excited they’d be!”

Her enthusiasm sparkled from her eyes, determination in her voice and expression. He loved watching her get so animated about a subject.

He leaned back against the kitchen counter, the cold granite at his back. “I don’t think anyone will be able to resist your enthusiasm,” he said, awed by both the idea and the selflessness behind it. When she’d given bone marrow at such a young age, the choice hadn’t been hers exactly, but now the way she gave back, it was.

“I hope you’re right. Dr. McCann holds tight to those purse strings, but I already have promises of people and businesses who will donate, so I’m sure that will help the cause.” She blew out a long breath and laughed. “Jeez, enough about me. What are you doing today?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Not sure. I was thinking about visiting my mom but …” He trailed off, wishing he’d never brought up the idea.

“But what?” she asked.

He turned away, not wanting to admit how badly he’d screwed up with his family. Avery had issues with her father, but her old man deserved it. Grey’s mother was selfless and wonderful, and he hadn’t understood her. Hadn’t treated her with the love and respect she deserved. If he told Avery, she’d be disappointed in him, and he wasn’t sure he could handle seeing condemnation in her eyes when he admitted that he hadn’t been home to visit since his return to Miami.

“Grey?” Avery placed a hand on his arm, bringing him back to the present.

“I haven’t been over to see her yet.”

“What? Why not?”

He blew out a deep breath and turned to face her, finding Avery looking concerned as she stared at him. “I just haven’t been back in a while.”

“What’s a while?” she astutely asked.

He closed his eyes as he answered. “Years.”

He let the word hang in the air while she digested the information. Even to Grey it was ironic. When he was struggling, and later making some money, he’d come home. Called often. Once he’d hit the big time, he hadn’t had time to visit. Hadn’t made time, he amended. Oh, he’d sent money, bought his mother and stepdad a house, provided items that he thought they should have to make their lives easier.

None of which made them happy. Having each other made them happy. A visit from Grey would make his mother ecstatic. And he hadn’t given her that. Because he was ashamed.

“Grey, why? You love your mom, and I know she loves you.”

“I …” He stammered, searching for the right words to explain the inexplicable. “For years I was embarrassed about my stepfather’s job as a janitor. Even though it was perfectly respectable and honest work, work that put food on the table.” He shook his head, remembering how he’d avoid the hallways if he saw his stepdad at school, ducking the other way.

“You never said anything to me.”

“Because I was humiliated. Your father owned buildings; my parents cleaned them.” He hated how shallow it all sounded now. “That judgment I felt, it was part of my need to run, to get away and make something of myself.”

“I thought that had to do with how your real father treated you,” she said quietly.

“It was, in part.” Grey’s biological father had molded his mind and warped his perspective in so many ways. “I wanted to be better than the good-for-nothing son he said I was. Although my brain didn’t work like his or my sister Julia’s, I was worth something,” he said, jabbing himself in the chest.

He felt a pinch and looked down to see her nails curling into his arm. “You’re worth everything,” she whispered.

He shook his head, unable to let himself believe her words. Maybe one day, when he’d made things right at home, he’d appreciate what she was saying. “I didn’t treat my mom or Ricardo any better than my father treated me. I didn’t realize it until …”

“Go on. Say it. Whatever it is, get it out.” At some point, she’d come up beside him, her soft body curled into his, as if she knew he needed her close.

He blew out a breath, dizzy with the word bouncing around his brain. “I never understood her second marriage or their happiness at just being together until I had everything … and realized I was still empty inside.” That was the point when he’d decided he needed to walk away from that life and come back, find the person he used to be. Find Avery.

“Oh, Grey.”