She
would never understand how much he regretted suddenly disappearing from her life all those years ago, how much he hated himself for doing it. He could have kept in touch, let her know she’d always been important to him, that out of sight wasn’t out of mind. He hadn’t. But the fact remained, he was here now, and he intended to make up for every last slight and hurt she’d ever felt.
“What did your father say today?” Grey asked, holding his breath for her answer.
Avery twisted her fingers together until the tips turned white. “He told Sienna he was proud of her for getting involved with kids with cancer after all she’d been through.”
“He’s an asshole,” Grey stated. He pushed himself up and straddled the chair until he sat closer to where she was curled into herself.
He grasped her hands, easing her grip and massaging the blood flow back into her fingers, holding on to her now, when she needed him most.
“I try and tell myself I don’t care, that I don’t need him, that it doesn’t matter whether or not he sees or acknowledges me.” Avery met his gaze, and tears leaked from her violet eyes. “But it does.”
“Of course it does,” he agreed. “Just like it matters to me that I never got my father’s approval. It matters that I know that, even if he’d lived, I still wouldn’t get approval or encouragement today. Doesn’t matter how successful I am.”
“Your father was crazy,” she whispered. “You’re an amazing man, Grey. It doesn’t matter if he saw it or not, knew it or not.”
“Exactly.” He grinned because she’d played into his hands, made his point for him. “Same applies to you, sugar. You’re an amazing woman. And you were a brave kid, giving bone marrow to your sister.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t really understand the magnitude of what they asked me to do. I just did what my parents wanted.” She drew a deep breath and looked down at their intertwined hands as she spoke. “And a part of me did it for selfish reasons, so my father would finally see me as something special.”
She spoke so softly he had to strain to hear her.
“I prayed that he would be so happy and grateful that I’d saved his other daughter, he’d come back home.” Avery bowed her head, her long hair falling over her face at the admission.
God, he hurt for her. “You were a kid. All those feelings, they were normal. You were just wishing and hoping for things every child should have. It doesn’t change the fact that you were brave then and you were strong afterwards. Like you told me the other day, your entire life shifted because of what your father did. The press coming after you, the panic attacks, the anxiety. You dealt with it all. Without him there to support you.”
Avery raised her head and met Grey’s understanding gaze. “You really believe that?” she asked.
“I do.” He squeezed her hands in reassurance.
Avery allowed his words and his belief in her to settle inside her. To warm her up where she’d always been cold. Because what she’d just admitted to him now? She’d never told anyone before, not even the therapist that her mother had sent her to.
Yes, she’d given bone marrow. But she’d always believed that her motives made her selfish. And though as an adult she donated her time to sick kids at the hospital and enjoyed seeing them light up and feel better about themselves, a part of her was trying to atone and make up for those selfish thoughts and needs she’d had as a kid.
But here was Grey, telling her that those old childhood feelings had been valid. For the first time, she pushed aside the juvenile view she’d tortured herself with for years and looked at things as an adult. As Grey did. And the heaviness that was always in her chest when she thought of that time, of her father or Sienna, lifted a little.
“Thank you,” Avery said.
“It’s just the truth, sugar.” He grinned, and she melted inside, the heat of the afternoon sun having nothing on the heat Grey generated inside her.
Because she was finally looking at him, and she was instantly aware of more than her own emotions. His tanned, bare chest filled her line of vision, and her pulse began a heavy beat in her veins. Desire kicked in, making itself known in telling ways, her sex filling with need, her breasts suddenly heavy and aching to be touched.
“Now let’s get back to what changed your mind about staying here, with me?” he asked.
“Oh, that.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, that.”
She blew out a deep breath, forcing herself to concentrate on what he needed for a change, and that was answers.
They weren’t simple, but she owed him the truth. “On the one hand, there’s the practical consideration. I really do need to stay someplace safe.”
He nodded. “We all agree on that. But if safe is all you’re looking for, across the hall works just fine.”
He was right. “I know. But after everything that happened with my father at lunch, all I wanted to do was see you. I wanted to talk to you.” Her mind had been filled with thoughts of him. “I already knew I had to make a decision about where to go, and after talking to my sisters, I realized I’d be deluding myself if I thought I could stay anywhere but with you.” She drew a deep breath for courage and said, “We click, Grey. And I can’t run from that anymore.”
“Thank fuck,” he muttered and she couldn’t help but grin.